Testing your relationship: The Costume Test

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Its October, or as every crappy radio station says "Rock-tober".

The novelty of wearing sweaters, jackets and "fuck-me" boots (you know what boots those are ladies - the thigh high ones) is awash in Hoboken.

I'm busy looking around at possible costumes that I may wear to a party on the 31st and I found the one that would quickly get me beaten up / laughed at the most (picture right).

I figure that I could get this costume, with a trick or treat bag and walk around to houses in Hoboken like i'm some man-child on October 31. I think a hidden camera would make for "Must See TV". Who the hell was the actor that posed for this? Imagine showing your friends - "Hey look at this new advertising ad I was just in...i'm Raggedy Andy!!"

This costume is also a great test for women in a relationship.

1. Buy the costume.

2. Tell your boyfriend you have a "special costume" for him to wear on Halloween (for a party or bar party you are attending).

3. Make sure he doesn't have any other costumes to wear.

4. That Saturday night (yes, I know its October 30 - but you know all the Halloween parties this year will be on Mischief Night), have it wrapped up in a box and when you give it to him make sure you are all happy and cheery about it.

5. Watch his reaction when he opens your "present". It will be a similar reaction that Boston Red Sox fans had when Aaron Boone crushed their hopes last October. Hopeful smiles to a wide eyed sheer terror look.

6. Part six is up to you - you have to know what motivates your man - and use that to get him into the costume. For example, most guys are motivated by sex, so you have to be like "I had a fantasy when I was a teenager about Raggedy Andy and I think you would look super sexy in this." I mean it has to be a bold faced lie. The same kind of lies that President Clinton said: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Have another cigar, Bill.

7. If you get him to wear it - Congratulations! You found a man who loves you.

8. If he doesn't wear it - you may need to re-evaluate your relationship. Nothing says love like humiliating yourself for your girlfriend.

If you do happen to pull this off, please email me with photos - philly2hoboken@gmail.com

If you are a guy who gets tricked into this treat by your girlfriend, I will say that i'm sorry. You can easily get your revenge by wearing the costume, tracking me down and beating me up in the costume. I will never live it down if Raggedy Andy beat me up.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on October 13, 2004 10:46 AM.

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