Top 5 Reasons to Hate Southern California

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Sure, I could have done "love" but isn't hating much more fun?

1. "The Inland Empire" - empire.jpg
Many of you may not know, but the residents of the area of Southern California, away from the coast, refers to themselves as "The Inland Empire". They have a magazine, its on craigslist, http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/, and even watching the news weather they say, "On the coast it will be 67 degrees and the Inland Empire will be 64...". What the hell? Inland Empire? "Hello? Insecurity: Line 1. Its Southern California calling."

2. Disneyland - I was there for 6 hours and got to see 6 attractions. It cost $60 to get in per person (It was very nice of my sister and brother-in-law to pay for the entry fee), lunch was ridiculous, and the lines were enormous. By the end of the day I wanted to get a Valium drip. On a side note, I wanted to rename Disneyland into "The Pedophile Kingdom" because of all the 15 year old girls who were dressed up like they were 18. It was ridiculous. I know i'm sounding old when I say this - but what the fuck happened to kids in the last 10 years? I want to say more, but I don't want to get sued by lawyers from Disney. After seeing what I saw that day I hope that when I have children they are all boys.

3. Bandwagon fans. I'm at the airport in San Diego and what do I see on a sign over the security gate but "GO CHARGERS!". Love it. LOVE IT. Come on - these guys were jokes of the NFL for years and now that they are 8-3 you have shit like that. Of course it would be the luck of Philadelphia that we make it to the Superbowl and face the Chargers - AND LOSE. It seems like the Eagles, in recent memory, get trashed by flash-in-the-pan teams (Tampa Bay, Carolina) who suck for years, get hot for 1 or 2, and then implode on their salary cap. It would make sense for us to lose to the Chargers this year in the Superbowl to add insult to injury.

4. Airports that are next to cities. Next time you fly into San Diego, get a seat on the left side of the plane. Look left and you are flying right next to skycrapers as you land. Its quite unnerving especially when you live near NYC and don't like flying very much anymore.

5. Nice weather. This is more of a jealousy thing - but they really don't know how good they have it. Plus it makes them all happy & cheery - sickening. If Hoboken had weather like that all the time, I think NYC would be the perfect city to live. Every day was sunny and 65. It does get a bit cool at night but I was lying outside with my shirt off on Thanksgiving and getting a tan. It was very nice until Champ slobbered all over my face in his boxer display of affection.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on November 29, 2004 10:04 AM.

Turkey Day in Temecula was the previous entry in this blog.

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