Valentine Musings

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I was thinking this weekend about what kind of qualities in a girl I'd like as a girlfriend.

I know the first thing is she needs to have a sense of humor, one that enjoys me making her laugh. As I get older...

...It was my birthday on Saturday (hello, 33 - or as my brother said "A third of the way to 99")...

I realize that there are two kinds of people in "my world". Those that get my sense of humor and those that don't. The people that do basically think i'm hilarious and (nearly) everything I do can make them laugh. I love that. I guessing being the last born child has wired me into a mentality of "I need to entertain people".

I mean, come on, look at this blog. It's a brain dump of things about Hoboken, the Eagles and me.

The other kind of people are those that simply find me unfunny and not very amusing. I find that I graviate towards people who I can make laugh, and those that enjoy being "the audience". There is a girl who works at Club H, that without fail, will laugh at everything I say. Even when I approach her at the counter, know she sees me and i'll watch this sly grin creep across her face, while she is working with another customer, because I know she finds me funny - On the flip side, I absolutely look forward to seeing her because I know that she is going to laugh at my jokes and I find her terribly attractive.

What is my type? Well, aside from the audience complex that I seemed to have formed, here is a quick list of things that get my attention...aside from the pure physical aspect of attraction...

1. Tall(er) Girls. Love 'em. If a girl is around 5'9" or higher, she is simply going to get my attention more than someone who is 5'1". Now, its funny that when I tell my girl friends this, they all think that means I don't like anyone shorter than 5'9". That isn't true. I have dated girls who were 5'3" and would absolutely date them again. I just prefer someone who is closer in height to me, since I am 6'3". I won't date a girl taller than me. Also just because someone is tall, doesn't make them hotter, nor does it mean I won't date people below 5'9" - it just is a "plus" in my book.

2. Street Smarts. There are two kind of smarts: Book smarts and Street Smarts. I like both, but I don't like the brainy girl who can't figure out a map or is afraid to drive into NYC on their own (yes, I dated a girl who said this). This leads to...

3. Boldness & Bravado. She has to be "take charge" kind of person who can step up when the situation calls for it. One past girlfriend and I were at the back of a line waiting to get into a club. She looks it over and says "Let me see what I can do...", and boldly walks to the front of the line and talks to the guy holding the clipboard. A few moments later we are waived into the club in front of about 25 people waiting in the cold winter air. That was extremely sexy. But, be forwarned, I don't like an overaggressive girl who is domineering...which leads to...

4. Trust. This comes in many forms. Trusting each others judgement & also being forthcoming and honest. I think at the start of a relationship everyone tries to be trustworthy, and over months/years of dating that trust builds up. But if I get from the beginning that the person is dishonest or elusive that just kills it for me.

5. Caring. This doesn't have to be in grand gestures, but certain things that a person can do to show they have a kind soul. If you are sick, maybe they make some soup and drop it off. Remembering your birthday (hint, hint). Emailing me a link to a story that I may like to read.

6. A Bird of a Feather. As I got older, I realize that I like to know someone who has similar interests - or is willing to partake in mine. I love wine and port (Taylor Fladgate 20 year old Tawny, please). I love science fiction & fantasy (don't get me started). I love the gym (within reason!). I love Italy (dream vacation: a rented Tuscan villa, a map of vineyards and 2 weeks vacation). I love cooking (and so do my roommates). I love the beach (I'd like to do a shorehouse under the right conditions). I love my Philadelphia Eagles (Detroit in 2006!). I love my computer games (some may call it an addiction).

Lots of my friends have said "What's your type?" when it comes to looks. I don't know. I know when I see it. The J. Crew kind of look is something that I dig - sort of a preppy northeast look. Blonde & Brown long straight hair. Someone who doesn't use a lot of makeup & uses clear nailpolish (I hate the new jersey high-hair & red nailpolish girl). A fit, athletic body (think Jennifer Garner). Non-cigarette smokers. Someone who isn't high maintenence.

I've dated smokers. I've dated a North Bergen girl. I've dated 5'3" girls. I've dated a punk-rock girl. I've dated a quiet, mousey girl.

So there are my Valentine musings, and maybe a better understanding if what i'm looking for out there.


What can men learn from the many women who insist they want a man who can make them laugh? And why do they want that, when they can just catch Robin Williams on HBO? This is more food for thought than can be accounted for in a blog post.

Money is another big factor in male attractiveness, but most men are clumsy with it. Having money should be seen as having means, and a sense of security in an insecure world, and nothing more. It's icing on the cake, not the whole cake.

Hmm. Two thoughts, two food references. Must be time for a snack.

Furey - your "what I want in a woman" certainly seems a lot more realistic on this blog than it does over email. :)

I love giving you a hard time. =)

What I want in a man - handsome, funny & independently wealthy. Please send anyone you know that fits that bill my direction.


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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on February 14, 2005 10:45 AM.

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