Queen and King Bees

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Living in Hoboken I have noticed something interesting about people. I call them "King or Queen Bees".

They are an interesting personality type, that seems to dominate Hoboken. My first encounter was with a King Bee about 8 years ago.

The King Bee was a bartender, of a local pub. Being a bartender in a town like Hoboken has a certain position of "power". The Yuppie people in town like to drink + the bartenders have the ability to give heavy discounts on alcohol = the bartenders simply become very popular with the drunken masses.

The popularity of their situation quickly goes to many bartenders heads. If they weren't a bartender, they would be just another patron, at the bar, with their regular group of friends.

But now, they think they have a TREMENDOUS amount of "friends" because they are behind the bar and have people who are very much interested in free booze. Everyone has a different angle.

Some people like being "in" with a bartender, sort of like part of the bar scene and if you know the bartender you get the extra perks of being "in": free shots & drinks or you get served before the non-regulars or the phony idea that they are actually your friends.

The same thing happened to me when I bartended. I was friendly with a lot of patrons, they were friendly back (read: they were good tippers), and some of them I became actual friends with. Others, acted like they were my friends - but its funny how quickly they stop being your friend when you don't bartend anymore.

The Bees will surround themselves with friends, making many false friends - for various reasons.

One reason is economic. The bartender wants to make money, wants patrons who tip and its in their best interest to make extended-friends with the patrons. Much like a salesperson may take a client out for drinks, are they REALLY friends with their clients? I'm sure there are some friendships that are forged that way, but most good sales people are simply "people persons". Much like good bartenders are also good salespeople. They know how to wink, smile, joke and laugh with anyone and are natually inclined to be social.

The second reason is insecurity. Lots of people surround themselves with a multitude of friends to make themselves feel important. Some need to fill that emptiness in their soul with a bunch of people they think are their friends.

The third reason is manipulation. Some Bees knowingly or unknowingly like to manipulate people. They are control freaks who use their charm and guile to make people think they like them. Using those tactics, they draw information out of people or use those people to further their own agenda.

If you live in Hoboken long enough you can identify other sorts of Bees - they come in all shapes and sizes.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on March 10, 2005 10:35 AM.

Luck of the Irish was the previous entry in this blog.

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