The 80/20 Rule

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"Don't tell people your problems. 80% don't care and 20% are happy you have them."

I guess people are enjoying my problems. My highest ever stats were reached yesterday when I had 70 people visit my page with 140 page loads. Considering that I don't do any real advertising, with exception to Hobokeni posting a link to my site on their page, i'm amazed that there are 70 different people reading my site on a daily basis.

I figured on friends, family and "the 20% people" reading this site to add up to like...20 or 30.

What else can I tell you that is going wrong in my life? Seems that bad news is the best way to drive traffic on this site. That or porn.

Maybe I should just add keywords to the text like:

Hot Hoboken Women Sexy Lesbian Anal Porn.

Now that I got the attention of the 12-56 year old Hoboken male demographic, we can begin.

A friend of mine said to me today:
" you are the single cute guy on crutches...that's like have a puppy with you, you'll get the chicks with the crutches"

I was flattered that Tom would say that. Until I realized Tom said it.

Just kidding, it was Tina. I didn't know crutches got the ladies. Maybe the latest meeting girl tactics of single Hoboken guys this season won't be getting a Pug or French Bulldog - but getting your ACL/MCL torn or legs broken to meet women.

I'm trying to now figure out a good opening line with the crutches. Maybe I could say:

"I fell for you."
"You were running through my mind and I just can't keep up."
"My third leg is stiff, too."
"Do you like Forrest Gump, too?"

I'm kidding. I don't use lines. I believe in gutteral noises following with thrashing bush leaves like a gorilla.

Watch out next time you see a hairless oranguatan come into Trinity with crutches and yells out his best Chewbacca growl to get the ladies. It just might be me.

1 Comment

I used to say I cut myself shaving. Maybe that would work for you as well...

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on May 17, 2005 10:42 AM.

Driving Mr. Daisy was the previous entry in this blog.

My Fight At The Pub is the next entry in this blog.

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