When It Rains It Pours

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Lisa and I broke up today.

I'm writing this only moments after she left my house to kind of get a written record of "in the moment" feelings about all this.

Plus, its not like I can really go anywhere with my leg in a super huge brace.

I feel fairly unhappy that things didn't work out - but this outcome, if you asked close friends of mine, isn't surprising.

I just didn't feel that "chemistry" with Lisa. She is a fantastic person and I feel like we will always be friends. She, on paper, has every quality that I look for in a woman: kind, considerate, smart, athletic, beautiful and determined.

This is the *kind* of person that i'd marry.

But it just wasn't THERE.

90% of the relationship was there. We have fun times together, we enjoy many of the same things - but we didn't have that SPARK.

There have been other women in my life that I get a great spark from - but they miss on those other things that I am looking for in a woman.

I guess that is the great dilemma in life. We are all filled with our qualities. Our strengths and our weaknesses. Sometimes you can make it work, sometimes you can't.

I think that mostly everyone will agree that the most important thing in a relationship is the spark. It's that chemistry bond that never dies out.

Lisa and I always had a good friendship, we always had a good repore, but I never felt that spark that I felt the first time we dated.

I can't believe its over, in a way. I was so looking forward to this summer with her - I knew that we would have a lot of fun.

Talk about your double trouble. First I bust up my leg, now I bust up my relationship.

I'm sure everyone is going to want to know the "Who broke up with who" story. I have been telling my close friends (Brad, Matt and a few others) about my feeling about Lisa (it's not like I could BLOG these feelings - Lisa reads the site, too). They all know how I felt about this. They all know that my attitude was a "why rock the boat" - even though I didn't feel "the spark".

I suppose Lisa started to feel that from me, and she grew distant also.

I sensed this before I broke my leg. Lisa has been extremely helpful after I broke my leg, but I still could tell "something was wrong".

Well, when you can tell "something is wrong" and you have very little to do all day besides watch TV and surf the internet - it eats away at you.

I asked her last Thursday, that night after my leg surgery, when she came to visit if everything was cool. She said everything was fine - I really didn't believe the way she answered me.

I was talking to Kristen on Friday, my roommate, and she said "Is everything ok with you and Lisa - she seems different."

So now my friends are sensing it too - its not just me.

Today Lisa came over to see me and I had to talk about what I was feeling. She was basically feeling the same feelings I had - everything about me she likes, but she didn't feel that spark. It was interesting to hear her say this, without me saying it, because it was the SAME WAY I WAS FEELING ABOUT HER.

We talked, chatted and shed some tears. I think we both agreed it was good - just not great. We both agreed that we will always love each other, as friends. It's hard that we have to be going through it right now, in this situation. But I couldn't go through my therapy wondering the whole time what was up with Lisa. I had to confront it and get it out in the open.

Life goes on. These are the trials and tribulations that make life what it is - sometimes wonderful and sometimes difficult. I know that things will get better. Just having a rough month, ya know?

1 Comment

Ahh.....the elusive "spark." I know exactly what you mean. You meet so many people who are just terrific in so many ways, but if the spark's not there, whatever connection you had inevitably fizzles to nothing.

But you're a resilient guy, you'll make it through this rough time, I'm sure.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on May 14, 2005 7:01 PM.

Back To Life, Back To Reality... was the previous entry in this blog.

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