Wedding Crasher

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I had a wedding this weekend, and I found myself in a dilemma. I hand wrote a wedding card, like I do for any wedding or special birthday. I usually take time to include a toast or memorable quote, along with my few heartfelt words. At weddings, I will include a check for the bride and groom....but I found myself wondering:

How much money do you give at a wedding?

I consider myself a good tipper, and a good friend, and don't want to give a bad wedding gift. Before I drove to the wedding Jon and I talked it and we agreed it depends on a few factors:

1. How well you know the groom or bride. Siblings should get more than the groom, who you met two years ago at a AA meeting.

2. Cover the cost of your plate. This is hard to judge. A good way to tell how expensive the wedding is, would be to see where the invitation has the wedding. If invitation for the party is at, say, a country club versus the local Veterans of Foreign War clubhouse - maybe you want to give an extra bit.

3. Take into consideration your financial status. If you are making $35,000 a year versus $350,000 - certainly you aren't expected to cough up $500.

I spoke to my mother today and we were talking about this. She told me that, back in the day, my sister's weddings were about $75 a plate (this was 1980's folks) - and she said you can expect to have around $125-$250 (if not more!) per plate nowadays.

I hope I gave enough.

The wedding, itself, was good. It was held in East Stroudsburg, PA and was outside under a large tent. Lots of friends from Hoboken to celebrate the wedding of Teresa and John. I bartended with Teresa for a little over a year at the bar on Saturday nights. It was pure fun behind the bar when we worked. We would rock out to Rage Against The Machine, and goof off with each other and the customers. I have some great memories with her.

Sunday, I bartended again for the first time since November 2003. I found it amusing because I have a lot of new friends that don't remember me as the "bartender". Both my roommates weren't living with me before 2003 - they just think of me as the working guy.

Yesterday was fun. My leg held up, and my ankle and achilles were a bit stiff when I got home. I worked with Liz behind the bar, and for a day of moderate business it was a good day. It was cool to see everyone come down and have a few drinks and watch some football.

I'm very excited for tonight.


I've got to disagree on the "Cover the cost of your plate". Why should one couple receive more than another b/c they are having their wedding at a more expensive venue? Maybe their parents are paying for the affair vs. the bride and groom or they can simply afford a nicer place. I just think back to my wedding (which my husband and I paid for) and I don't think the monetary gifts would've changed if we "downgraded" or "upgraded" either way. JMHO!!! Anyways, sorry about your Eagles - I'm a Jets fan and it was a pretty sad Sunday for me as well. Take care.

Good point, I think I should have said you give at least enough to cover the cost of your plate.

I don't think people would downgrade per se - but if you were invited to a Black Tie Dinner at The Four Seasons, I have found others give a bit more from people I spoke with...

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on September 12, 2005 12:35 AM.

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