December 2005 Archives

Best of Philly2Hoboken 2005

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Yes, I actually have the gaul to say "Best of" with regards to my scatterbrained attempts around here. So bite me.

Maybe you are a casual reader and didn't get to read my more introspective slop while I was feeling bad for myself with a broken leg. But I had a few good ones in here. This is my recommended reading for the last year...

The Mugging story is always a popular one, my roommate Kristen still uses "Fucking bitch!" from time to time around me.

My Superbowl trip to Jacksonville, even with the loss, made for some interesting blogging.

Firecrackers & Furey are a bad combination.

"The HC" - another week, more drama.

If you read along, you can see how the car crash once again.

This was easily one of my best entries of 2005, especially if you know Brad and me growing up.

Once again, I was in a groove writing for March, probably because I was getting laid once again.

My experiences in Europe, I love to tell these stories.

How I broke my leg, I didn't get to write about how many jokes I got about playing softball & tripping over pitchers mounds. I never tripped, I ran up and jumped off it, like a ramp, people. I'm very co-ordinated and extremely dim sometimes.

My first and hopefully last bar fight.

I really like my short story, its too bad I don't have the chance to continue writing it - Tivo and World of Warcraft have destroyed any chance of free writing time.

I sat on writing this story for a good month before I decided to publish it. 100% true and 100% strange. The Swarm.

The Vegas Story, aka Fellowship of the Bling. Bittersweet, I lost a friend and gained a new one.

If you lived in Hoboken long enough, you have to love my quirks about Hoboken. I got a ton of emails about this one - at least 4!

The Hoboken Relationship Stages was great - come on people I may not be Shakespeare, but this is some good stuff.

The Parade - I know you can't wait until Summer when you can sit outside and watch the Parade begin again!

First time as a kid that I got shitfaced at my Grandparents 50th Wedding anniversary.

I loved my reporting on Fresh Direct, and think that it was fairly well written. I haven't used Fresh Direct in a few months, however. Ever since I broke my leg my interest in cooking has really fallen off. I don't know why.

What is it like to be an outsider in your own home - when two of your roommates start dating each other.

The "Man Suit" was about my second most popular story for the year. Everyone identified with this.

Not the most well written story, but seeing how The Other Half lives in NYC every night makes me jealous that I have to sit in an office all the time.

My brother and sisters appreciated this story about the Atari vs Intellivision, and if anyone knows my Dad - they would, too.

I will be bartending this 2006 New Year with my fellow bartender, and friend, Chris, at the bar. I'm really looking forward to it, it will be the first time I bartended on New Year Eve.

Thanks for all your support and well wishes this year. I look forward to 2006 to be a better year, and I hope one of fun and surprises - which I will happily blog for you.

The Syrup Story

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Someone from the NY Times emailed me about the syrup story I wrote about a few weeks ago. He is getting information from everyone he can, and writing a story about it for the newspaper. Jen Chung from The Gothamist directed him my way, and he emailed me his name and phone number to talk about the story. We chatted for about 15 minutes and he asked if I knew anyone else who smelled the syrupy smell on Dec 15th.

If you did - email me and I will forward on your information to him. Also he said that if you wanted to be anonymous, that was ok also. He is just trying to get information for his story of times, places and dates when people smelled it.

Also he thinks it is from anti-freeze - score for The Blonde! Also he noted that all the days that people smelled it were on Thursdays. Interesting.

Sadly, i'm also going to get "outed" for the story. No, not in a Christopher street kind of "outed", but my nom de plume of "Furey" will evaporate because he is, gulp, using my real name for the story. I asked if he could use Furey and i'm sure I could hear him rolling his eyes from other other end of the telephone when he said, "No."

Oh well. Such is the price for investigative reporting!

I read the news today about a black man who was fatally shot by the police because he was a "danger" to them waving a knife. 122705a.jpg This looks about as dangerous as Billy McMullen in the 4th quarter.

I watched the video and it was silly that this guy had to get shot. Haven't we learned ANYTHING from Hollywood?

Get a few of the Planet of the Apes guys down there and net this fool! I'm partially serious - think about it. We arm cops with guns and nightsticks, why not put in every 122705.jpg police cruiser trunk some kind of net? Get two or more officers to wrap up these drug-crazed lunatics or mentally unstable people instead of shooting them.

Or someone comes up with some kind of net-cannon, you shoot it at the guy at a distance of 10 feet. Look, they made it in China.

Hoboken's Secret Entrance

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For years I lived in Hoboken without a car. All of my trips back to Philadelphia were on the train from Newark. One year, my sister and brother in law offered me their used 1993 Volvo for about $7,000 and I was free to drive anywhere I wanted at anytime I wanted.

Then I realized what I didn't miss about driving - traffic.

If you are like me, and take frequent trips out of town on the holidays and happen to arrive near the Holland Tunnel around peak driving times, it is always backed up. For years I used to sit in this traffic, and would always wonder if there was a back street way to drive into Hoboken via Jersey City. I was a bit afraid of getting off the highway and making a wrong turn - and ending up in an episode of "COPS", if you know what I mean.

This is what I call the "Secret Entrance" into Hoboken if you are coming from out of town. For years I didn't know about this, and it wasn't until trial and error that I found out about using this route into Hoboken. Maybe you already know about it, and if you do, congratulations! If you don't, well, I hope it serves you well, it easily will shave off a good 10-30 minutes of sitting in traffic at the Holland Tunnel light (depending on traffic).

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  1. After you pass exit 14B, heading towards exit 14C, and you pass the final set of tolls, there will be an exit marked "Jersey City / Columbus Drive". Take that exit into Jersey City.

  2. Go down the offramp, and thru the first light. The road will come to a curved "T" section, with traffic directed right or a stop sign for those going left. Follow it to the right onto Columbus Drive. Go to the second light.

  3. At the second light is Monmouth Street. Make a left on to Monmouth.

  4. Follow Monmouth 14 blocks to 14th Street (remember, this is Jersey City's 14th street). Make a right at 14th street. You will notice that just before you get to 14th street, you drive under a few overpasses: it's all the tunnel traffic above you!

  5. At 14th, you make a first left on to Coles St. Ahead of you, there will be the large white building that says "American Self Storage". On Coles, you drive four blocks to 18th street.

  6. On 18th, you make a right (if you can go left here, it would take you to the Storage building) and the first light you come to, a block away, you make a left on to Jersey Avenue.

  7. As soon as you do that - you will see the turn on to Newark Avenue and the large "Welcome to Hoboken" bridge.

There are other ways and other roads, that i'm sure to get comments or emails about - but this is certainly the best way to also avoid any lights and I believe the quickest way, too. I used to take Columbus Drive to Washington Street (Jersey City's Washington Street) and that has a trillion lights and takes far longer than my "secret" route.

I guess it's not a secret anymore!

*Oh technically this is also a trick to bypassing all the traffic waiting at the offramp. Instead of making a left on to Jersey Avenue, you can make a right and the second light make a left to the Holland Tunnel, which will be right in front of you. Unless you like waiting in line on the ramp...

How To Fix Monday Night Football

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I'm so tired of the television schedules nowadays for Monday Night Football.

The seers in the NFL offices try to predict what should be shown on Monday Night, months before the season starts. They put on teams that SHOULD be good, but with injuries and uncertainties with every team every year, you never know who will be worthy of watching Monday night.

Here are my Top 5 Ways we can fix Monday Night Football:

1. Don't schedule any Monday night games. Put in a full 16 week schedule of every team, to play every week on Sundays. No Monday night games are scheduled. Two weeks before, the NFL will choose 3 potentional matchups for Monday night, based on record of competing teams and interest. For example, during week 14 I would have chosen for Week 16, the following matchups:
a) NY Giants at Washington
b) Dallas at Carolina
c) Indianapolis at Seattle

All 3 games are with teams that are either in the playoffs, or in the hunt. You know that there is going to be excitement from not only fans of those teams, but even non-fans to watch two teams really battle it out. Of course, choosing the colts is tricky since you don't know if the starters are playing the whole game, but you know that the Colts aren't going to lie down and let the Seahawks beat them.

The NFL will just randomly select one of the 3 teams to play. If owners want their teams to be on a nationally televised game, they have even MORE incentive to spend money on making a good team & coaches.

By scheduling 2 weeks ahead of time that gives teams PLENTY of time to prepare. We are in 2005 (and soon to be 2006), folks. It's not like a team just can't wait ONE day longer to play football - they knew where they were playing, just the time was changed. As for the fans - we are in a digital age. Emails, websites and blogs will alert all the fans to what Monday Night game was chosen 2 weeks in advance, and give people more credit - if they know Monday Night ISN'T a set thing, they will be checking ESPN or their hometown teams website each week to see when their team is on.

2) I would sign Bob Costas to be one of the announcers on Monday Night. I don't know who to pair him with (NOT COLLINSWORTHLESS!!!), but if you watch the guy on HBO's Inside The NFL, he is a solid pick to call the games. Maybe get Al Michaels and Bob Costas at first, to see how they do together while grooming Costas to be the long term host and looking for a replacement for Michaels.

3) Screw the West Coast! Start the games at 8pm EST. I know that we tried it once in 1998 and the rating dipped in the West Coast, but they knew what they were getting into when they moved there. It's a tradeoff, they get the beatiful weather and we get football. Have them get a Tivo, and record the game. By the time they get home, they can watch the football game, skip the commericals and catch up to the rest of the world by the 4th quarter. No one on the East Coast likes to stay up until 12:30am watching a game, and the East Coast easily has more football fans than the rest of the country - cater to your audience, people!

4) I'm tired of watching sideline reporters who are hired by their looks and not their NFL knowledge. Starks? Guerrero? Yes, they are easy on the eyes, but I watch them fumble their ways through interviews like Michael Jackson during a cross-examination. Lets hire men or women who should be on the sideline, because of their brains, not their bodies.

5) Have a real halftime show. I don't understand why only the Super Bowl we get to see a musical act play. Why not just do the same thing for every week of the NFL? Have one band come on that plays 3 songs, and rocks the crowd. Trust me there are PLENTY of good bands that would this for FREE. Why? Because its MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL. Imagine the audience that you garner for some up-and-coming bands who are well known in New York City, but not so well known in Topeka, Kansas. Trust me, just have ESPN partner with MTV and this is a slam dunk for everyone.

What would you do to fix MNF?

Top 5 Winter Fashion Mistakes

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I don't claim to be Mr. Fashion, but this is what I have observed this winter...

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1) Any man who wears earbands. Sorry, I just despise this look. It screams: "Emasculated Man".

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2) The long quilted goose down coat. I know that for girls they are cold all the time and need to wear warm clothes, but come on - this coat makes you look like you are wearing a sleeping bag. Any guy that wears this should have his testicles removed promptly.

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3) Any of the cavewoman boots. Uggs have been replaced by the furry neanderthal boot look. Me No Like!

4) The "Working Girl" look. I see attractive girls, wearing nice clothes and look down to see them wearing stockings, sneakers and white cotton socks over their stockings. Ugh. I know, I know - no one wants to walk around in high heels. It just screams "I'm a secretary!" Oh, i'm sorry, "...administrative assistant!".

5) No coats at all. I see the girls & guys walking down the street, shivering, and they don't have a coat & loudly complain how cold it is. These are the kind of asshats we get into Hoboken. They don't want to crimp their NJ Guido style - so they leave their coats in their leased BMW and walk 4 blocks to Lana or Trinity. They stand out in line, stamping their feet and they already are holding their money out to buy that first of many rounds of red Red Bull and vodka.

Syrup Smell Coming To Hoboken?

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Anyone else notice the syrupy smell on their PATH ride this morning?

Aside from the normal smells of urine, rat hair and too much cologne, I could easily smell a sweet smell, much like 121505.jpg Mrs. Butterworth herself was sitting next to me.

It started as soon as I sat down on the train in Hoboken and continued the whole time to 33rd street.

There has already been reports in the last couple of weeks about that odd syrup smell. I noticed it weeks ago, across the water in Hoboken.

I asked a few people on the train if they smelled syrup and they all had the same abashed reaction and sheepishly agreed with me.

Anyone have any idea what it could be?

Atari vs Intellivision

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I think it was 1980, and I was 8 years old.

We were living at our new home in Richboro, with 4 bedrooms, a backyard and every year was better than the last. Christmas was approaching, and this was the first year that I learned there wasn't a Santa.

I was the youngest of four children, and my siblings were tired of the smoke and mirror games. Actually, I think just my brother was the one really tired of it. He was 11 and decided to break the news to me, because he sometimes was a bastard like that. 90% of our childhood was the normal fun stuff and there was a solid 10% of bastard-ass things he did to me that wasn't very big brotherly - just cruel.

So no longer under the guise of thinking that Santa was coming, I knew that my parents were going to get me a gift. Cool. My brother and I really had one gift we really wanted - Intellivision.

Everyone knew about the Atari, but the Intellivision's graphics were so much cooler. We were chomping at the bit to get this system, and made it very clear to our parents we were dying to get this - but, we, of course, had no concept of money.

This one Christmas I woke up early. I remember it was dawn, and maybe 6am. I looked out my window and saw the light and was so excited - IT WAS CHRISTMAS! I couldn't wait to play my Intellivision, and quietly crept downstairs to see the presents.

Each step I took I was sure I would hear my fathers booming voice come from his room, "FUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRREEEEEEEYYYYYYY!"

But nothing came.

I got down the stairs and looked around the living room, and saw presents and gifts all arranged. I tried to discern which one would be the intellivision game, but couldn't. I was so excited I loved the sneakiness of it all at the same time.

I thought: Hee hee hee - i'm up an no one knows it. Hee hee hee. Ooh, look at this present for me. I wonder what it is. Probably a powder blue sweater.

After a bit of snooping, I went back upstairs and into my bed and patiently waited until I heard my parents alarm go off at 7:30am. The kids milled around the upstairs and started our Christmas Routine.

Every Christmas Routine was the same. My father and mother would go downstairs and get the film camera ready. The kids would wait at the top of the stairs and everyone would come running down, so my father could capture the picture of the kids going bonkers over their presents. I haven't watched those films in a long time, I can only imagine the chaos.

After getting downstairs, and tearing open the presents as fast as a human child could - my brother and I never found the Intellivision. We were crushed. Sure, there were games, toys and tinkets strewn for us to play with but we wanted that ONE present so badly.

Until my father said, "I think there is another present in our bedroom."

With delight my brother and I rushed up the stairs, nearly tripping over each other to get into my parents bedroom. There, under their TV was a very large present!

Oh, with glee we ripped open the wrapping paper like wolves on a deer. Then we see:

Atari 2600.

Atari? ATARI? We don't want ATARI. There must be a mistake here, we were specific we wanted INTELLIVISION, not Atari!!!

I don't remember my exact words, but somehow I formed my displeasure as best I could as an 8 year old, whining on Christmas morning to his father, who provided as best he could on his middle-class salary. His response was a classic, at least if you were in my family:

"Fine! You don't want it? I'll take it back and you get NOTHING!"

My mother chided him by saying "Frank!" in her upset voice.

My 8 year old brain, quickly assessed the situation. It was amazing how fast I switched from being an Intellivsion fan into an Atari fan. I embraced that box like I was holding the virgin child himself and expressed my happiness and joy over the Atari.

My father seemed to think that was good and left me alone with my bastard child gaming system, the Atari. I grudingly set the system up, and so began many years of competitive games of my brother and me trying to prove who had the faster reflexes.

I'm not proud of my reaction to this day and I write this because its a recurring memory every Christmas season. I still can remember how unhappy my father was at my reaction to the Atari. I'm sure I came off as an ungrateful son. It was just one of many learning experiences over my life about the fine art of learning to keep my big mouth shut. I'm still working on it, even today.

Bandwagon vs Real Fans

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I was talking to some friends of mine at the bar about bandwagon fans.

Now that the Giants are leading the NFC East I find it funny to walk around Hoboken and see everyone wearing Giants t-shirts and hats. People talking about an "All Manning Superbowl". Giant fans who don't know anyone on the team besides Eli, Tiki, Plaxico, Shockey or Strahan. Hey fans - name me the starting offensive tackles!

Then it really boils down to a certain level of elitism that exists in our society. We, as a society, have a tendancy to always want to be better than our peers.

We buy expensive clothes. We wear needlessly expensive jewlery. We buy super SUV baby carriages. Our bank accounts become our definition of self-worth. Our wedding days need to be "perfect" - with no expense spared for the perfect caterer, band, table settings, cake or location. We are a society of selfish consumerists constantly hoping to one up our neighbors and feed our hollow souls with trinkets and baubles.

Something a simple as being a sports fan is tainted by our culture.

What's a "Real Fan" in American society?


  • Watch the game every week at home? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! You watch the game from your couch, you aren't a fan!")
  • Watch the game every week with friends? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! You don't go to the games!")
  • Watch the game every week at the stadium? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! You don't EVEN tailgate!")
  • Tailgate every week at the stadium and then watch it in the stadium? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! You leave in the 4th quarter to 'beat traffic'!")
  • Tailgate every week at the stadium, watch it in the stadium, then taildate after the game? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! I'm more of a fan - I fly with the Green Legion to the games!")
  • Tailgate every week at the stadium, watch it in the stadium, tailgate after the game, and follow the team to away games? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! You don't attend training camp and have every article of clothing signed by players like me!")
  • Tailgate every week at the stadium, watch it in the stadium, tailgate after the game, follow the team to away games and also attend the NFL draft and training camp? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! Do you know the QB stats of the 1963 Eagles? I didn't THINK so!")
  • Tailgate every week at the stadium, watch it in the stadium, tailgate after the game, follow the team to away games, attend the NFL draft and training camp and can recite every player's number, birthdate, college they attended and you have 10,000+ posts on the NFL teams messageboard? (Superior Fans response: "Bah! I snuck into McNabbs house and stole his Chunky Soup cans!")

    You think i'm kidding? You know it is true. You say you are a fan and someone will show up proclaiming that, "They are MORE of a fan than you are!"

    Or conversely, you watch the fans who are the morons that show up when their team is doing well. They don't know anything about their team except what they read in the newspaper or watch on ESPN. They become little talking heads spouting stats and comments that they heard during the game by the commentators.

    What's a fan?

    I'm a fan of the Eagles. I certainly was excited when the Sixers play well. I know that two years ago I was really excited for Flyers hockey. I still try to get tickets to watch the Phillies play every year they come up here to play the Mets.

    It is hard to get excited for a team that is losing. I remember first moving up here, I would wear my Eagles jersey at the Farside bar (before that I was across the street at the defunct "Small Burgers" restaurant that is now Venue) and watch my team bumble around.

The Underaged Ones

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I'm at the bar on a Saturday night, the crowd is moderate and for whatever reason we don't have a bouncer.

Five girls walk in. I'm terrible with judging ages for girls. They are either, "Younger than me", "Around my age" or "Older than me" in my mind. These girls were all younger than me.

I recognize two of them, one white girl and one black girl, i'm nearly positive that they have drank at the bar before, and I think they are from Stevens. The other three I don't know. I ask for i.d.'s.

The first two that I recognize give me their ids right away, and if you haven't heard - the latest technology with fake ids is pretty good. I can't tell the difference. The ids have proper lamination, holograms and their ages check out - they are 22.

The next one hands me her id and I make small talk with her. While i'm reading the id. I'm remarking on her name and reading her street address, making jokes how I love this part of my job and how she just got her own personal stalker. I hand back her id and she smiles at me laughing at my joke.

My mind thinks: Sure, all bartenders are hilarious when you are the enabler. Everyone wants to be your best friend. I remember how many of my "friends" stopped calling me after I stopped bartending 2 years ago. But that's another story.

Then I get the 4th one who says she doesn't have ID. I tell her that I can't serve her, and i'll be cool and let your friends stay and drink, just don't try to sneak in a beer. Technically we are a bar & restaurant, so we let in people underage all the time as long as if they aren't drinking. I told their group, "None of you try to buy her a beer, or nothin'". They all agree.

I finally have to get the attention of their 5th friend who has been trying to hide behind the black girl. She finally hands me an id. I'm reading it and then i'm thinking: That name sounds familiar...

It was the id from the girl who smiled at me. I look at the picture, and realize that it was the first girls i.d. - even further, the picture on it wasn't the first girl at all! I was so distracted by the smiling girl I completely forgot to look at the picture - it was from the first white girl I checked. They tried to pass their id around on me.

Now I was pissed.

I tried to be nice and let their friend stay who didn't have ID. I also felt like an idiot for not checking the id properly for the smiling girl. So I confront the group and show them.

Everyone plays dumb at first. "What? That is her id! Sure it is!"

Finally after about 1 minute of negotiating over this, I had enough, I threw them all out.

The three girls without id left and the two girls, who drank at the bar before tried to order a drink.

Uh, no.

"Maybe you didn't understand, but you two have to leave, also.", I told them.

"What? Why? We are legal, we have ID!", the black girl snapped back.

"I don't care you are with them, you know they didn't have ID and you let them try to con me with her ID. If a cop came in here and found out that I had underage people drinking here, I will go to jail and get a huge fine. Did you know that?", I asked her.

She shook her head.

I continued, "You can come back another night, but tonight you aren't drinking here."

"Oh, fine, great! Let's go", the black girl sweeps up her handbag and storms out with the other white girl while muttering some other things under her breath.

The regulars are watching this with great amusement. When the final two girls leave, a girl from my Eagles club turns to me and says, "You are too nice with them, Furey. When I used to bartend in college I would have just thrown them out on their ass without a second thought."

The problem with our little bar is that we are a neighborhood pub. We don't get a tremendous amount of business like the other Alpha bars in town like Madisons or Trinity or Lua. You offend one regular and it can cause a ripple effect. That regular tells all his friends how he was disrespected by our bar and goes on a campaign of hatred to stop his friends from going there. Maybe they are successful, maybe they aren't. It can be very annoying when you get a phone call from a regular, "Hey, we would come to the bar but we got Tim with us and he doesn't like coming there anymore..."

You can't make everybody happy.

It's Not A Wonderful Life

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I have been avoiding blogging about this for the last few days.

Probably because I have been trying not to think of it, really.

Ever since I moved to Hoboken I have always been the "responsible roommate". I'm the guy who puts his name on the electric, phone and cable bills. I collect the money from the roommates and pay the bills myself. Heck, lots of times I even forget to ask my roommates to pay me and pay the bills anyhow. I have never been great at keeping track of my money, but I have always been fairly good at not overspending what I have and paying my bills on time.

One day, about a month ago I got an automated phone call. This time it wasn't from Corzine's Gubernatorial campaign, but from PSE&G. The automated response informed me that my electric meter hasn't been checked in...

87 months.

87 months? 7.25 years? That is about how long I have lived at this condo. I have been paying an estimate on my electric bills for 7 years?

I really hadn't noticed. I just get the bill, which is electric and gas, and pay it with a check. I tell my roommates each month what 1/3 of the bill was and they paid me in cash. I don't really care how much I was spending, but on average my electric costs were always very low. Now I know why.

The meter guy came to my house two weeks later, after I made arrangements with PSE&G to have someone check the meters. At first we had trouble finding the meters. Like many Hoboken brownstones, this was converted into 2 units - the downstairs (a basement and first floor) and an upstairs (the second and third floor). Unit 1 and Unit 2.

It turns out the electric meters, for both Unit 1 and Unit 2 were inside of Unit 2. Inside an electrical closet, the only way to gain access is hope that someone from Unit 2 was home to open the door. I never knew that. No wonder why they haven't been able to read my meters for 7 years - they have been unable to get access to the other apartment. The meter guy read the units and left saying I would get my bill in a few weeks with the current charges.

I started to do the math in my head. 87 months, and if they were off by, say $10 a month...$870...$20 a month...$1740...$100 a month? Oh, shit.

I got my bill last Friday and opened it up. My worst fears were realized, I owed PSE&G a boatload of money, about $8,000. They were incredibly wrong for the last 7 years estimating my electric bills. I never noticed it. My gas & electric were on the same bill, so I would see each month the full price and pay it, not realizing that electric was ridiculously cheap and an estimate.

I have a condo with 3 roommates. We split all the bills over the years. I have had about 9 roommates over the last 7 years. Some I haven't seen since they left. Others have gotten married and moved out of Hoboken. Some have bought their own condos in town. I really should owe 1/3 of that $8000 bill - $2,666. I can pay that. But 8 grand?

What the hell am I going to do? Call my roommates to pay me back?

"Uh, hi, Rose. Remember you lived with me for a year from 2002-2003? Yea, PSE&G was wrong about the electric bills and you need to pay me back." [click] "Hello? Hello?"

This isn't going to be a scene from "It's A Wonderful Life", 120605.gif
where all my friends and ex-roommates come storming over to my house giving me a basket full of cash to help with the mean-old Potter at PSE&G.

I'm sure Zuzu will show up when a bell tinkles from a tree just to say, "Look, Furey, everytime a bell rings you get kicked in the balls!"

I'm not George Bailey, i'm just Furey.

I called PSE&G their basic reponse was, "Didn't you notice how low your bills were? Do you have central air?" (we do) "Didn't you think that it was low? Sorry, but you have to pay us!"

I am fortunate that my roommate Jon has a friend who is a lawyer. She pulled some case files of similar situations and got me to call The Board Of Public Utilities (BPU). I'm working with them to figure out a solution, and to see if there is anything I can do. I also have the second apartment involved, they got a very expensive bill from PSE&G also (about half of mine, because they have been in the apartment only 3 years). Right now i'm waiting to hear from BPU, but my hopes aren't very high.

"Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Get me back! Get me back, I don't care what happens to me! Get me back to my wife and kids! Help me Clarence, please! Please! I wanna live again. I wanna live again. Please, God, let me live again."

That only happens in the movies, not Hoboken.

I have been dreading the realization that i'm going to get stuck with the bill here. My ex-roommates won't lift a finger to help me. My friends and family will be sympathetic. And like the mantra of my life - I have always been alone and I will deal with it on my own.

Annapolis

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I'm calling out the turkey movie of the year right now. I just watched the trailer for Annapolis, and annapolis.jpg
could pick out the following movies right off the bat:


  1. An Officer And A Gentleman

    • "I'm not quitting!" replaces "Foley: Mayo I want your D.O.R.! Mayo: No sir. You can kick me out, but I ain't quitting"
    • Plenty of your-blue-collar-and-not-worth-being-an-officer references
    • The angry black instructor vs the angry white do-nothing which was perfected by Louis Gossett Jr. and Richard Gere.
    • Does anyone else see similaraties between the Gere/Franco look? They could be twins.

  2. Top Gun

    • Uh, hello? The bar scene when he first meets Jordana Brewster is blatently stolen from Top Gun with McGillis and Cruise - oops! She is a flight instructor / naval officer goof!
    • The whole tag line of 50,000 apply, only 1,500 are accepted only the best survive is so Top Gun. I bet at the end of the movie James Franco becomes a pilot, taking a call-sign like "Rogue" or "Wildfire", to enhance his edgy broodiness.

But then again, who am I to say if this movie will suck. An Officer And A Gentleman was made in, gasp, 1982! I didn't see it in the theaters, but saw it on Prism as a kid (Come on, Philly faithful, who remembers Prism?). There are plenty of kids out there that will have no idea about how much of this movie has been stolen from past military films.

I'm sure we are going to see it a trillion times this weekend during commercials for Army/Navy. I just wonder if you are an Army officer, who graduated from West Point, how you are going to feel after watching a trailer that says Annapolis is the toughest military academy in the United States? I'd be pretty pissed.

I wonder how many dumbass 18 year olds are going to watch this movie and apply to the Naval Academy. I'm fairly sure that the night before my first tour of Villanova I was watching Top Gun on Prism and somehow I decided it would be a bright idea to join the Naval ROTC program there.

Yep, bright idea. First 8 weeks of school everyone is partying and getting laid, while i'm going to bed at 10pm so I can wake up at 5:30am and do pushups on the wet grass with instructors yelling at me.

"The Place Where Heroes Are Made And Legends Are Born!"

I think I can speak for every family member & in-law of Naval Academy Graduates out there by saying we are going to torch Touchstone Pictures offices for making us suffer through the holiday season with our "Legends" who will undoubtedly be strutting like peacocks around the house for the next 2-3 months. Thanks a lot dickheads.

But then again, we can have just as much fun with it:

"Hey, Mr. Legend, can you pass the potatoes?"

"Hero, your wife just called said you left the house without your testicles."

After they do anything just remark with mock amazement, "WOW. Did they teach THAT at the Naval Academy?!"

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