The Underaged Ones

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I'm at the bar on a Saturday night, the crowd is moderate and for whatever reason we don't have a bouncer.

Five girls walk in. I'm terrible with judging ages for girls. They are either, "Younger than me", "Around my age" or "Older than me" in my mind. These girls were all younger than me.

I recognize two of them, one white girl and one black girl, i'm nearly positive that they have drank at the bar before, and I think they are from Stevens. The other three I don't know. I ask for i.d.'s.

The first two that I recognize give me their ids right away, and if you haven't heard - the latest technology with fake ids is pretty good. I can't tell the difference. The ids have proper lamination, holograms and their ages check out - they are 22.

The next one hands me her id and I make small talk with her. While i'm reading the id. I'm remarking on her name and reading her street address, making jokes how I love this part of my job and how she just got her own personal stalker. I hand back her id and she smiles at me laughing at my joke.

My mind thinks: Sure, all bartenders are hilarious when you are the enabler. Everyone wants to be your best friend. I remember how many of my "friends" stopped calling me after I stopped bartending 2 years ago. But that's another story.

Then I get the 4th one who says she doesn't have ID. I tell her that I can't serve her, and i'll be cool and let your friends stay and drink, just don't try to sneak in a beer. Technically we are a bar & restaurant, so we let in people underage all the time as long as if they aren't drinking. I told their group, "None of you try to buy her a beer, or nothin'". They all agree.

I finally have to get the attention of their 5th friend who has been trying to hide behind the black girl. She finally hands me an id. I'm reading it and then i'm thinking: That name sounds familiar...

It was the id from the girl who smiled at me. I look at the picture, and realize that it was the first girls i.d. - even further, the picture on it wasn't the first girl at all! I was so distracted by the smiling girl I completely forgot to look at the picture - it was from the first white girl I checked. They tried to pass their id around on me.

Now I was pissed.

I tried to be nice and let their friend stay who didn't have ID. I also felt like an idiot for not checking the id properly for the smiling girl. So I confront the group and show them.

Everyone plays dumb at first. "What? That is her id! Sure it is!"

Finally after about 1 minute of negotiating over this, I had enough, I threw them all out.

The three girls without id left and the two girls, who drank at the bar before tried to order a drink.

Uh, no.

"Maybe you didn't understand, but you two have to leave, also.", I told them.

"What? Why? We are legal, we have ID!", the black girl snapped back.

"I don't care you are with them, you know they didn't have ID and you let them try to con me with her ID. If a cop came in here and found out that I had underage people drinking here, I will go to jail and get a huge fine. Did you know that?", I asked her.

She shook her head.

I continued, "You can come back another night, but tonight you aren't drinking here."

"Oh, fine, great! Let's go", the black girl sweeps up her handbag and storms out with the other white girl while muttering some other things under her breath.

The regulars are watching this with great amusement. When the final two girls leave, a girl from my Eagles club turns to me and says, "You are too nice with them, Furey. When I used to bartend in college I would have just thrown them out on their ass without a second thought."

The problem with our little bar is that we are a neighborhood pub. We don't get a tremendous amount of business like the other Alpha bars in town like Madisons or Trinity or Lua. You offend one regular and it can cause a ripple effect. That regular tells all his friends how he was disrespected by our bar and goes on a campaign of hatred to stop his friends from going there. Maybe they are successful, maybe they aren't. It can be very annoying when you get a phone call from a regular, "Hey, we would come to the bar but we got Tim with us and he doesn't like coming there anymore..."

You can't make everybody happy.


hmm..i don't know--were you really just being a nice guy trying to hold onto regulars, or are you a sucker for any girls who smile? underaged is underaged. Anyway, good call on throwing them all out. If you got busted, saying the girl smiled distracted you from looking at the ID won't get you too far.

Guys will often let cute girls get away with murder! But you can't let them win all the time, you know :) It's bad for your integrity. In fact, I suggest that you turn her down next time, now that you know her ID is fake (do it in a nice way, of course). Or else, serve her something tame, e.g. like a rum coke, and whisper sweetly in her ear that it's the best you can do. She'll appreciate the effort, and she might even defend you in front of her friends.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on December 8, 2005 12:03 AM.

It's Not A Wonderful Life was the previous entry in this blog.

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