Summer's Start BBQ

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Every year that I am able to - I have a BBQ called Summer's Start. This year is the 5th year hosting it, and I just like doing it. The party is just a celebration of summer's arrival. Letting my friends meet my roommate's friends, a bit of Hoboken Social Networking, if you will. Our rules are that we make all the food & our guests bring the booze (unless you are Jon's sister who is an incredible cook, and she can bring any food she likes).

We had some good years and some bad years. Some years where I got mugged the night before. Some years where we have a torrential downpour (and yet we still rented a party tent to keep the BBQ going).

We might do it on a Friday or Saturday in June. Haven't decided on the date yet.

I was going through my address book and deleting a lot of names. Adding a bunch more. Hoping I don't forget anyone.

The tricky thing about parties in Hoboken is who to invite. Sure, I have lots of friends. 10 years living here and bartending helps that list. But then you get into the hard habit of WHO do you invite and WHO can't you invite. It is a wild web we weave in Hoboken, because of the degrees of seperation between friends and enemies. People either date or were friends and then they have a "falling out".

Friend A & Friend B hate each other. But if you invite Friend C - they are friends with Friend A and are angry you chose Friend B over Friend A and won't come to the BBQ unless Friend A is invited.

Dude, I swear to God, Hoboken is like a mini-High School sometimes.

Or Friend A and Friend B dated each other, and you were friendly with both, and they have common Friends C, D, E, F, G. You invite just one friend - and it becomes fairly clear that you are having a party and they didn't get the official invite. Are some friends MORE of a friend than other friends?

I was thinking about how I would define a "friend" in my life:

1. Inner Circle: People who I know will run through fire for me and me for them. They can be trusted and are someone that i'm very close with. There are only about a handful of these kind of people in my life.

2. Close Friends: People that I like to hang out with on a regular basis. Normally ones that I email or call at least a few times a month. You make plans with these people at times. Some of these close friends can be close to Inner Circle or close to Casual Friends.

3. Casual Friends: People you might know from the bar, or a friend of a close friend. You recognize who they are on the sidewalk, might have some small talk and leave.

4. Random Friends: You might see them a few times a year, at a random party or the gym or on a softball league team or from the Eagles Club. Someone you got along with, but really don't see that often. You can pick up where you left off with them and talk about "whats new", maybe even exchange numbers but don't really call them.

Now I got to start making my list and checking it twice. Figuring out who will be naughty or nice.


Hmm. Here's a great concept; perhaps you shouldn't feel like you're in high school and just invite everyone you know. We're all adults (I think). The more the merrier. Plus, you'll have more booze left over at the end :)

I did that before, but Close Friends would then cancel on me because I invited a Random Friend they didn't like. I'd rather have my closer friends at the party, and hope the more random friends would understand why they weren't invited. This is what you get when you try to keep everyone happy.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on May 10, 2006 12:51 AM.

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