I really pick and choose on this site about what I like to talk about. One topic that I haven't really been able to delve into recently was my dating life. For you long time readers, or long time friends, you will know that i'm not really a guy who likes to...date.
My approach for the last 34 years has been the "get to know a girl, secretly have a crush on her, and pray to God that I ply her and me with enough alcohol to make a move". It isn't the most successful method, but its the path of least resistance for someone who hates rejection and hates the whole "dating" thing.
Sadly, like I mentioned, this really isn't a great method. Most girls who become friends with me put me into the "friend box" and if we did a roll call of my hot girl friends (two words) over the last 11 years of Hoboken, I would be looking like a pimp. I have had some incredibly hot girl friends.
Now here comes the tricky part of my story. How do I tell this tale without giving out too much information?
Ok since the end of April I was dating someone. Let's call her "Jill".
Now Jill is intensely private and even the fact that i'm writing this is going to bother her. But hopefully she understands that my writing is my outlet and won't freak out too much.
It was fun. Probably the most fun I had dating someone, since I don't like to date, ever. I can say that most other girls I have been with I just liked them. Jill was easily the first girl I felt something for other than "like". She has qualities about her that I absolutely would want to have when I find that "Mrs. Furey". She wasn't perfect, but then again - is anyone really perfect? We have our quirks. Some can be endearing, some can be maddening. The pro's just need to outweigh the con's.
Jill was cool. And smart. And funny. And adventerous. And sexy. Just writing this I am smiling when I think of her. She had most of the qualities that i'd like in a girl.
I knew her for a long time, she worked in Hoboken part time. For 2 years I would see her about once a week. We would make small-talk and I never had the guts to say anything.
I never thought she was interested in me.
One day, in talking with her, I mentioned the blog. I told her I write a bit, and she might like to check it out. So I asked for her email. We got to chatting over email and she was bold enough to call me out one day. She said to me, "You know that thing about making friends with girls you like...you are doing it again."
So I took the bait and asked her out. She agreed.
I was floored when she agreed. It was great. Dating her was fun. I knew her for a long time, so it was very easy going. Unfortunately for both of us there was a problem.
She was leaving in August to head to a new town and start studying for her doctorate. After a few weeks of dating we both were like, "Do we really want to continue this?"
As much as we liked each other I wasn't about to leave my career and she couldn't abandon hers. What do you do? My attitude was "fuck it", I figured we will just burn that bridge when we got there.
There are a lot of good stories that i'd share, but I can't. Suffice to say I had a great summer. One of the best in recent memory. It had it shares of ups and downs. Heartbreak and joy.
I learned a lot about me, and a lot more about relationships. I learned that emotion and logic are very hard in any relationship. I'm great with dispensing advice to my friends, because I have no vested emotion. Telling someone, "He's just not that into you - time to move on" sounds fine when it isn't your heart that weighs 100 tons. I think I learned how to be a bit more tactful when talking to someone about their relationship.
As for Jill and myself, our time in the sun is over. Maybe one day if she is single and I am single and we live closer to each other we can take another shot at a relationship. For now, we just remain long distance...friends? Well, I hope it's friends with benefits. :)
People have been asking me, "Are you sad?". I tell them that I would have had it no other way. I got to date a girl that I had a crush on for 2 years. Imagine if she moved away and I would have had to keep wondering what ever happened to her, or never had the chance to date her. No, i'm not sad. Its bittersweet. Certainly I would loved for Jill to stay here, and see where our road would have continued (or ended). But its also sweet that I have such good memories to remember her by.
There is still some summer left...and I have a pooch named Layla that I can borrow for long walks on Washington Street. Maybe there will be some more good entries for the Summer of 2006. Who knows?