Killing Me Softly

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Saturday morning at 11am.

BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark
BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark
BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark
BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark
BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark

That's all I hear from downstairs, in a muffled sort of way.

Layla is alone. She doesn't like being alone. She is like Kristen's shadow.

The barking intermittently changes to a strange yelp whine. Sounds like someone is strangling the dog. The back to more BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark!!

Well, so much for sleeping. I get up and turn on the TV, trying to turn up the volume to stop hearing the dog. It sort of works, except between commericials I get more "BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark".

I could let Layla out and hang with me. But I really don't want to be responsible for her. It's Saturday and I have to bartend at 6:30. I just want to vegetate.

BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark!!!

I like Layla, don't get me wrong. Just don't like loud noises in the apartment. I suggested to Kristen a muzzle, so she couldn't bark while in her crate. Is that wrong? I don't think it is. I started to read up on the internet about sprays that can be used when dogs bark. Not sure if I am that determined to start that. I'm hoping the puppy grows out of this or Cesar Milan will be getting an email from me.

Here's some other random observations about Layla, dogs and dog walking*:

1. Is there some strange unwritten rule of dog walking and meeting other people walking dogs? Let dogs approach, snif each other while both walkers have a introduction session to each other. Wait about 1 minute and continue.

2. I used to think dogs were chick magnets. I'm starting to re-think that since the only people that Layla attracts when I walk her are children. I haven't taken Layla up to Washington Street, however. I'll be on Garden, Layla sees someone (guy or girl) and goes bonkers. She tugs at the leash and I have to hold her back lest she kiss someone's leg to death. Layla is like a cheerleader in dog form. Peppy, full of spirit and wants everyone to notice her.

3. Layla's other annoying habit is "I'm done walking". I walk down the street when she just stops dead in her tracks. Like a mule, she refuses to move. Sometimes she sits. Sometimes she lies down. Two ways to fix are bending down to her eye level and she usually approaches me and we continue our walk. Or, I don't stop walking and she grudingly walks/tugs from behind me. I can feel her trying some kind of Ghandi passive resistance from behind me. I have zero tolerance for this.

4. There is nothing more annoying to me than watching women treat their dogs like children. Talk in baby voices or cuddle them when they get scared. They are dogs, people. Not little children with fur. Dogs don't understand when you cuddle them - they start to think they are the pack leader and walk all over their owners.

5. 75% of people in Hoboken walk their dogs incorrectly. Everyone lets their dog lead them. This is a big no-no. You lead the dog. The dog walks to your side, not in front of you (unless sniffing to go to the bathroom).

6. A criteria that I would judge a girl would be the kind of dog they have. I know isn't that bad? But seriously, if any girl had a toy dog, it would be like a black mark on my book. Not a deal breaker. Also maybe true if the girl had like a Great Dane. I'd be wary of that, too. Oh, if any girl I met didn't like dogs or cats, that would be...bad. Sorry I just couldn't imagine being with someone who didn't like animals. I think it says a lot about people how they treat pets and animals.

7. I toyed with the idea of getting a dog, but now having Layla as my 4th roommate, I see how much work they are. Every day Kristen has to get home from work and walk Layla. She spends money on that dog walker every day. Any thing she wants to do on the "spur of the moment" needs to take Layla into consideration for the next 12-15 years. I'd get a dog if I was in a committed relationship, but doubt that i'd do it while i'm single. But who knows, I have been known to change my mind.

8. I'm very attentive about picking up Layla's "droppings" when I walk her. I did have a nightmarish moment once. We were walking and she did her business. I cleaned it up and threw away the plastic bag. We walked about another block and she WENT AGAIN. Fuck! I didn't have any more bags. So it was late, i'm on Garden Street and looking around for witnesses. None seen. I scurry away. I get home and get another plastic bag and clean it up. But for that one moment while I was running home to get a plastic bag I was half waiting for someone to sceam bloody murder at me for not cleaning up the mess.

9. Tell me that this wouldn't make a tremendous amount of money in Hoboken. Set up about 14 dispensers on Washington St. (one every other block on both sides of the street) and one at each dog park (set up something with the City of Hoboken, where they get a % profit for allowing the machines to be in the park). There are SO MANY dog owners in town that shower their dogs with toys. I fully expect someone to jump all over this idea. I expect to see these in about 6 weeks from this post.

*For the record I grew up with my own dog, Princess Leia. My sisters were veternarian assistants before college and they have raised multiple dogs between them and my brother owns a dog also. My family knows a lot about proper dog rearing.

Yes, Kathleen, I fully expect your expert advice after I post this. LOL.

3 Comments

No advice this time :)

I suggest a bulldog for you-- they are lazy and quiet. Who cares if they drool --it is better then the barking!!! And then you can put an Eagles collar on little ummm, Lito :)

Sounds like it's time for you to get a doberman puppy, so it can grow up to eat any other barking dogs that happen to be nearby..

Yea, muzzle the dog. B/c the dog is doing what all dogs do, it's barking. I love when people get an animal and then get all upset when the animal acts like um, well, an animal. You grew up with dogs, right? You knew they barked, right? Why did you agree to let your roommate get a dog if the barking was an issue for you?

Jeez!

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on October 24, 2006 12:09 AM.

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