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May 14, 2007

Bagel Smashery

In Hoboken, one of the most popular activities with the populace is getting smashed. Kids getting smashed, their parents with them, too. Sometimes old people get smashed, sometimes young. There is no rhyme or reason, its just the thing to do in Hoboken - Get Smashed! Some people get lighly smashed, some get moderately smashed and some go to a full smashing, and enjoy every minute of it. 051407 005.jpg
I like to get smashed, and I just discovered how delightful it can be on a Saturday morning to get smashed.

Now don't get me wrong, i'm not talking about the use of alcohol, I am talking about The Bagel Smashery, with their two locations in Hoboken at 152 1st Street (btwn Bloomfield and Garden) and 918 Willow Ave.

I have seen the Bagel Smashery on many occasions, passing by it on 918 Willow when McMahon's Brownstone used to host the Philadelphia Eagles Club of Hoboken. Now that i'm a resident of downtown Hoboken, I pass by the First Street Bagel Smashery and asked myself, "What's all the fuss?"

Saturday I entered the store with an open mind and an empty stomach. It wasn't terribly busy, and I quickly placed my order for an egg bagel, with bacon, egg and cheese - "SMASHED".051407 002.jpg

Then I started to ask the person working there, "What's the deal with the smash?"

She gave me a look like I had horns coming out of my head and said, "What da'ya mean?"

"The smashing thing. What's the deal? The 411? Why smash a bagel?", I asked.

"Is this your first time here?", she replied.

"How did you ever guess?", I chortled.

"Have you ever had a Cuban sandwich?", she asked.

"Sure, I get them weekly from La Isla up the street.", I said.

"It's the same idea. We press the bagel to press the bacon, egg, cheese and bagel together, making the outside crispy and the inside nicely smashed together for a compact, tasty meal.", she told me.

How interesting.

She went on to explain about the owners and the history of the Bagel Smashery, and it was a bit hard to understand with various dates of them leaving, selling the place, this is what I gathered .051407 004.jpgfrom what she told me and what the website detailed:

The very first Bagel Smashery was established in 1995, on 718 Washington Street, and changed owners & licensing in 1996. In 1997, it moved out of Hoboken, to the consternation of the original owners, but in 2002, Bagel Smashery returned to 153 First Street. With its popularity soaring, they opened another store on 918 Willow Street in 2003. They are entertaining licensing business opportunities, and from what I was told the owners are also trying to petition a major corporation to license their product for sales in their stores

I waited only a brief amount of time, noticing that the Bagel Smashery had about 6 or so "smashers" lined up ready to press customer's bagels. They also had a good deal of coffee, and various waters or juices to choose from. I grabbed a small cup of coffee an orange juice and my bagel (which cost about $3.85). I went home and decided to try this crazy concoction.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that the core product, the bagel, smashed, with the bacon, egg and cheese was an enormous hit. Delicious. Crispy. Gooey, but not sloppy. Tender egg combined with a flavorful bacon, and a soft cheese on a lightly toasted warm bagel was an absolute delight for my morning tastebuds.051407 009.jpg

Then I made the mistake of trying the coffee. It was fairly bitter, and very dissapointing when combined with their delightful breakfast sandwich.

I know that Bagel Smashery regulars are going to be chomping at the bit to email me and tell me how wrong I am. Remember, I am merely a man with my tastes which may be different that your tastes. My presumptious attitude may be angering you, but maybe I just got a bad batch of the coffee. Who knows?

But don't let my coffee experience deter you!

It isn't the Coffee Smashery, it's the Bagel Smashery, and they know how to smash those bagels just right. I got smashed, and i'm ready to get smashed just about every weekend I think. I mean, you can't say you are living in Hoboken if you don't get smashed, now and again, can you?

Posted by Furey at May 14, 2007 12:30 AM


I never tried Bagel Smashery, despite living around the corner from it because I read this post by FKI on Hobokenchat:

Blacklisted Business: Bagel Smashery
Where: every one of them
REASON: quality sucks, poor value
The whole concept of "smashing" something is just a ploy to scam the unsuspecting customer. Take crappy stale bagels, sh!t quality ingredients (including limp microwaved bacon), and smash them into unidentifyable mystery objects and Voila! you have a 317% profit margin!

They apparently smashed their website too, so you can't read it.. take a look: http://www.bagelsmashery.com/history.html

But the point that gets my goat, is because Paco, the smash-technician pushes your bagel into a flat frisbee concoction, you have to pay $0.50 more? What gives? How does the smashing process add to their overhead?

How did this idea get invented? I bet one morning on the PATH train some guy had a real bagel, and some fat pig sat on it. I'd rather pay for a fat-pig smashed bagel just for the comedy and humiliation aspect. Could take that freak show on the road, to carnivals, etc.

UPDATE: The one thing they do not charge extra for (ironically) is FREE HAIR in each of the bagels!


He's hilarious.

Posted by: mel Author Profile Page at May 15, 2007 10:41 AM

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