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October 4, 2007

Hoboken Headlines

I was reading The Jersey Journal, and I love reading that site almost as much as I love reading personal ads. I read the stories and just have a running commentary in my head as I read them and I figure i'd share that with you today. Here's the headlines for the last week, a quick synopsis and my comments at the end:

"Apology fails to head off pot arrest" : A Stevens Institute of Technology student apologized to a cop for "just smoking weed" after she threw a joint into the Hudson River Tuesday night, police said.

Comment: Never smoke weed by the waterfront, too many people - the back streets are where it's at and less cops around! Also, how the hell did you start a pot cloud that everyone could smell, who the hell were you smoking with, Bob Marley's ghost? Remember the lessons from the movie "Friday": "Puff, puff, give."

"Knocked out on Hoboken street": A man was knocked out cold yesterday morning after a shouting match on a city street, police said.

Comment: There aren't enough details here, but the few things that stand out in my mind:


  1. The victim was yelling at a man, who was accompanied by a woman. Bad move. The attacker probably was more upset that someone was insulting him in front of his girlfriend and took action. If he was alone, he may have walked away.

  2. Clean-cut bald man of average height and 200 pounds. Any guy who shaves his head bald is usually losing his hair and they are very angry about that to begin with. Also bald guys think of themselves as tough guys, and will be more prone to fight than walk away.

  3. The victim, who admitted to cops having downed five drinks, did not know what had happened to him or what day it was, but did know his name, police reports said. Fucking amateurs! Five drinks and you get clobbered?! Not only were you stupid enough to pick the fight with the angry bald guy and his girlfriend, but you can't hold your drink and you got clowned in front of Texas Arizona. Nice job, idiot.

"Company laptop reported stolen in park": A New York businessman reported his laptop stolen from Columbus Park at around noon on Friday, police reports said.

Comment: People, people, please. You are in Hoboken, not Nebraska. "He told cops that he stepped away from his bag for a couple of minutes and when he returned the computer had vanished, police said." - you deserved to lose that laptop, dumbass.

"Hoboken starts construction on its own for vets memorial": The construction of the Hoboken World War II Memorial is finally under way - and veterans are thrilled.

Comment: All three of them are thrilled.

I kid! I kid! I have been recording, on my Tivo, Ken Burns "The War" and highly recommend it. It definitely gets me emotional when watching some of the footage and frankly amazed at what our troops did during the war. Interestingly enough, you also really get to see propaganda in action for the U.S. - we take our freedoms (especially of speech & the press) for granted today. There was ZERO free press during World War II.

"2 men charged in assault in Hoboken bar": A man was attacked Friday night at a city bar and may need plastic surgery, according to police reports.

Comment: I'm sure the victim started with: "Hey! Did you make fun of my capri pants? They are very much in fashion, along with my "Christian Audigier" and "Ed Hardy" shirts!!"

I don't know any locals who go to East LA. Walk by there on a Thursday or Friday and it looks like someone built an underground tunnel to Jersey City or East Orange and started the Underground Guido Railroad. I blame the victim in this case for going to East LA in the first place. Also learn a lesson here. If you ever are dumb enough to get into a fight, just use your fists. Breaking a bottle, using a chair, any object used will add about 2 years jail on top of an assault charge. Of course i'm sure both the victim and attackers were stone cold sober.

"Arrest after nasty end to cab ride": A taxi passenger who racked up a $50 fare from Manhattan Saturday assaulted a cop after two officers tried to help the driver collect the fare, police reports said.

Comment: You older readers know about my taxi rules in New York from my Quirks Of Hoboken entry, but maybe the newer readers need a refresher course. I can get from 72nd Street in Manhattan to Hoboken for $35 at 4am in NYC. How? Each cab comes up and you slur "I need to get to Hoboken and I only have $35!" they say "NO! $50!" you say, "Sorry, I don't have that much..." and slowly walk away looking for another cab and repeat. Either the cabbie drives away, or says "Ok, ok. Fine. $35."

Of course this clown was drunk and full of pride. Hiding in a boiler room? Nice. Your roommate paying $30 and you $18? Yep, you must be doing real well for yourself. Lunging at the cabbie in front of the cops? Awesome! Hitting a cop with your elbow? Well, have fun in prison, you tool.

"Crack charge after evidence swallowed": A man was arrested on cocaine charges after swallowing the evidence Sunday morning, police said.

Comment: I read this and I always think about what will happen to this criminal. Thrown into prison, and how is that helping? I'm not a bleeding heart liberal, and I know plenty of people who have the "lock them up and throw away the key attitude". I just think that prisons should be created for each type of crime: Violent crime Prison (murder, forcible rape, robbery, aggravated assault, and simple assault), Property Crime Prison (burglary, larceny, theft, motor vehicle theft, arson, shoplifting, and vandalism), Public Order Crime Prison (a bit more vague, but basically targets addicts, prostitutes & other public order crimes). Why? Well if someone steals a car and you throw them into a cell with a 250 pound rapist or murderer - we are not creating someone who exits prison as a reformed person, but as something even worse when they get out.

Posted by Furey at October 4, 2007 12:44 AM

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