The Hoboken Timeline

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As you know, I have a shore house at Bradley Beach this summer.

I bought into a full share at a shore house that I knew nothing about through a friend of mine, Chris. If you asked me 10 years ago if I would be doing a summer share at a shore house at 36 years old, I would have laughed it off and fully expected that my life would be not about summer shares, but about living the quiet life in the suburbs.

When I told my friends I was getting a summer share, they all had the same basic reaction - laughter. Not "hey that's funny, Sean" laughter, but "dude, you aren't 26 anymore" laughter. There seems to be in our world a "Hoboken Timeline" that the world must follow if you live here. For example:

1. Graduate from college.
2. Get a job.
3. Find a apartment.
4. Explore the city & get down the shore.
5. Sow your wild oats & have a few flings.
6. Meet that special someone.
7. Get engaged.
8. Move out of Hoboken (some wait until 1 kid & some don't).
9. Have kids.
10. Die.

Now, the timing isn't so important, per se, but there's an overall "attitude" that people have about it. It's like when you are dating someone for a long time and your annoying uncle who smells like Dewars gives ya the nudge at every family event saying "Hey! When you gonna get married?!" Then when you finally get married your aunt is bugging you, "So, when you having kids?!"

It's kind of the same story with the Hoboken Timeline. There's a timeline that we are all supposed to be on. If you stray from it, there's always someone nudging you, but instead of the 'alcoholic uncle' you have the 'weekend alcoholic bar-friends'.

It doesn't bother me much, but I simply find it fascinating. People get locked into a structure of life. There's supposed to be a freedom in our lives, but really it's about conformity, that we, as a society, adhere to. "Job...husband/wife....kids" is the mantra we repeat and need to do it before our "expiration date", which for women the pressure is even greater.

Then I also find it funny when I go to weddings and meet people there, and always get the guy who finds out i'm single and in my 30's and they are like "Oh man! You are SO LUCKY! Don't settle down, man! I got married at 26, and dude, that was a huge mistake..." Then I get to hear about the wife, child out of wedlock & the mistress story.

I guess it all depends on who is doing the listening. To me - hey, i'm just rolling with the punches and working with the hand that Life dealt to me.

I'm 36 and single, and i'm not quite ready to die just yet - so, a beach house it is. More on that later this week.

3 Comments

Furey- There's more to life than this - I know you're shortening it, but have kids and then die? Come on man!

I think if you want to have a shorehouse good for you -but you know you're amongst the "older" crowd at the beach. As long as you are fine with it, who cares what some snot nosed 22 year old says? I sure don't.

When I was in my beach house at the ripe old age of 26, most of the girls in my house were 30 or 31. 36 is not old! The only way 36 is old is if you wanted to have kids that graduated college before you turned 50. :D Who does that anymore anyway? ;-p

Screw the timeline. I was just at a shorehouse with a great group of people all 25+ (most of them are in their mid-30's). Some had girlfriends, some were single. So whoever was laughing at you is either misinformed or jealous. Most of the people who are in a big rush to settle down may regret it later on.

I am in my mid-thirties, live in Hoboken, and also have a share in a house in Bradley Beach with 12 other single girls. Is this where I thought I would be at this stage of my life? No, but I am not willing to settle just to fit in to what other people consider to be the "norm". I learned long ago that life does not go according to plan. Enjoy the summer, and look for us down the shore!

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on May 27, 2008 12:01 AM.

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