How To Deal With Bouncers On A Parade Day

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St. Patrick's Day was this weekend in Hoboken. It's my 14th year in town, and every year it seems that more and more young people come into town to celebrate.

Personally, I don't care about the kids having fun. I guess that's because i'm not married and don't have kids and still care about having F-U-N. Most of the people that are against banning the parade are the same people that 10 years ago were throwing up or pissing in the alley, but now that they have kids they are typically selfish yuppies who want the world to revolve around them.

Hey, I don't care if the kids want to have a good time. If people in your building trashed your courtyard, maybe YOU should take responsibility and have your condo board or building management make swift decisions banning parties on holidays. My condo board was smart enough to deliver fliers to each resident saying basically "Have fun but if you bother any neighbors, the cops are coming and you will be fined by the condo board."

Surprise, surprise - our 100 unit building was on lockdown and everything went just swimmingly.

This year for the parade, I wasn't bartending. I stopped working at Mikie Squared last April, since I had a shore house at Bradley Beach & just didn't pick up a new shift when the summer was over.

I skipped taking pictures of the parade this year. I figure I wasn't missing anything new that I didn't have from 2007 or 2008. I went to a few parties, met a few friends, and around 4pm, wandered over to my 'local' - Mulligan's.

Over the years, if you know me, I have had a few locals. Hennessy's, Farside, Moran's, Dipper's were all my homes away from home at one point of time in my Hoboken life. Now it's Mulligan's. The bartenders are great, the owner is always kind and the people I meet there are the down-to-earth kind of people that I enjoy hanging out with.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that my Eagles and Phillies clubs operate out of the same bar.

I went over to the bar, and talked to Paul, the owner, for a bit. We chatted, and he says "Hey, did you have your bar card?"

Now to those who don't know, in Hoboken to work in a bar you need a "bar card". I wrote about it a bit before, but it's basically a license to work in a bar in Hoboken. Or as I call it the "Bartender Tax" because you need to renew it every 2 years and pay over $100 for the renewal.

I had my card at home, which is a few blocks away, and he asked me to get it. I figured that he needed me to help for a bit, and I grabbed the card and came back.

Paul said, "Ok, here's the deal. I had another bouncer working here but he was an idiot and started to accept money from patrons outside trying to get inside and circumvent the line at the front door. The shift is until closing and i'll pay you XXX dollars."

I was fine with that. I figure i'd help out Paul who has been great to the Eagles & Phillies club and some extra money never hurts. I was hoping it was only going to be a few hours and not the whole night, but whatever.

It was pretty easy work, but ran into a few issues, which I will just list in no particular order, with how to deal if you are in this situation (in reverse):

1. On a parade day you get a lot of grief as a bouncer. I don't know everyone, especially VIPs (friends of the owners or regulars) - so I got a bunch of people giving me grief when I wouldn't let them in. I'd just send them over to the head bouncer and if he said OK, i'd let them in. That was the first annoyance.
How to deal: Ok, you are Joe VIP, personal friends of someone. Just ask me when i'm free to go inside and ask Paul or whoever if they know them. I did that on a few occasions if they asked nicely enough and in some circumstances got "yes" or "no" if they should bypass the line. It's not the bouncers fault they don't know you.

2. Secondly, you get plenty of people from out of town who get separated from their friends, who are inside, and then they give me a sob story (usually chicks) about how "All my friend are inside and I CAN'T GET IN!!!". I tell them they have to wait in line and pay the cover. I usually get more grief from them over this.
How To Deal: Really this is a bit more tricky. One person was a complete bitch to me, and I gave her my full wrath, which really shouldn't be reprinted here. Another little Indian girl was all alone, pouting and she waited a good 30 minutes outside until I finally broke down and let her in. She wasn't necessarily nice about it, but she was persistent and didn't try to berate me.

3. People who came up to me with "Hey man I was JUST IN THERE can I get back in." Um, no. They all got shot down unless I, or someone else, remembered them leaving. It was hard to remember everyone, but I did my best.
How To Deal: I had people admit to me, when I shot them down, that "Yea, dude, i was lying, sorry....but can you let me in anyhow?" - They still didn't get in. Wait in line, pay the cover.

4. Someone was dumb enough to get into a fight. How? Well, they brought INTO the bar a can of beer. Opened it right next to the bouncer (not me), which sprayed all over the place and into the bouncer's face. Not only was bringing the beer in a no-no, but the fact that the bouncer got doused in beer didn't help matters. The offender was escorted out, but started to lean back and give the bouncer trouble, and then the offender's friend jumped the bouncer. Melee starts at the back door, and who is standing right there? Me. Once again...I just grab one of the dudes, and put him into a Three-quarter nelson, like I did a month ago, except this time I have my arm around his neck in a choke hold. He struggled with me at first, but I released some tension when I heard him start to have trouble breating and since my head was next to his just whispered in his ear, "Calm down dude, i'm the bouncer."
How To Deal: Ya got 5 bouncers outside a bar, the way to deal is back down. He did & we let him leave without stomping his head into the pavement.

5. You don't know anyone working at the bar. You want to bypass the line. How?
How To Deal: If you are a girl, cute, and have cute girl friends, you really shouldn't have to wait in line - most smart owners or bouncers will just let you in. If you are a guy - bring cute girls to the bar. One lone dude was outside the bar and asked if his girlfriend and her friend could get in. I asked "Are they hot?". He said yes and pointed them out. Easily they two hottest girls in Hoboken and they were all inside in a heart beat without paying a cover (Yes, I was given the approval to do this ahead of time). Why? It's good for the bar. You want cute girls in the bar. I couldn't help to think about the club scene from the movie "Knocked Up" while I was doing this.

Quick segue: My buddy told me a story a few weeks ago. His wife had a bachelorette party. She was going to get 15 of her girlfriends, in their late 20's up to the city and wanted to go out to a bar. She knows a few promoters, made a phone call - and they were set up. All 15 were going to a popular club, provided with free table service & booze, and they don't wait in line or pay a cover.

I was a bit shocked at this. What? No cover? They don't pay for drinks?

My friend looked at me and shrugged. "That's the way the world works, dude. The bars want 15 young, cute girls dancing in their clubs. Doesn't matter if they are married or have boyfriends or whatever, but they don't make their money from the girls...they make it from the guys who go there, pay a cover, pay for bottle service, buy drinks for the girls..."

I shook my head. Must be a wonderful city if you are a girl and know how to play the game.

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. A girl did come up to me and say "You are that guy...right...the blogger...philly to hoboken, right?" - not sure how she recognized me, but that made me chuckle.

Also, I did get to hook up a few of my friends, which is another side benefit to bouncing. Like I wrote about the VIPs, there are the VIPs in my life, who take care of me and I take care of them. I saw them in line, picked them out of the line, walked them up to the front and into the bar to the chagrin of the rest of the people waiting.

1 Comment

I know a group of about 10 who think you're great. You really did us a solid and we won't likely forget it.

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This page contains a single entry by Furey published on March 10, 2009 12:22 AM.

Hoboken St. Patrick's Day This Saturday was the previous entry in this blog.

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