Hoboken: April 2006 Archives

Levels of Men in Hoboken

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I was reading this thread on Hobokenchat, and it got me to thinking of the different levels of Men around Hoboken. I'm a product of my upbringing - LaSalle High School was a preppy school and Villanova was J. Crew's wet dream. I would guess i'm a Level 4 guy.

Level 1: This is your basic man who drinks only domestic beer, eats any meat from a 4 legged animal or has fins and thinks "carbs" refers to engines. Dresses in flannel and has 1 pair of jeans. Likes to hunt & fish. Has a scraggly beard. Uses motor oil as a cologne. Thinks all cats should die. Dog choices would be mutt or pit bull to protect his junkyard.

Level 2: A bit of a step up. Thinks wearing Professional Sports Team outerwear is fashionable. Sweatpants are what he wears around the house. Owns a sportcoat and 3 ties, one of those ties has beer cans or fish hooks on it. Has one bottle of cologne from 1987 which is 90% full, and he wears it on special occasions like NASCAR opening day. Owns a car outside his house that sits on cinder blocks and is his "weekend project". Has a subscription to Penthouse. Thinks mullets should make a comeback. Saving for a 401K is for wussies - Saving for Hockey season tickets are for men. Likes manly dogs like Rottweilers, German Sheppards and Dobermans.

Level 3: "The Regular Joe". Likes any form of beer, will even drink lite beer if it tastes good. Loves shots. Spends money on 3 things: His car, his good weed and porn. Likes cigars. Thinks white socks can be worn with anything. "Grooming" to him is going to the barber shop, never spending more than $20 on a haircut. Reads the sports section first of the paper. Doesn't understand why people go to the gym - "You are gonna die, too you healthy bastards!", he would think. Only subscribes to Sports Illustrated, Maxim and/or Playboy. His girlfriend or mom gets him nice clothes and the rest he just gets at a American Eagle store. When he turns his TV on or off, it is set on ESPN. Likes dogs you can "do stuff with" like retrievers or beagles or hound dogs.

Level 4: Joe Prep. The next level from the regular Joe is normally the guy who just happens to have more money to spend. He likes his Abercrombie & Fitch. Would be the kind of guy to shop with girls. Only drinks Amstel Lite or Stella Artois, along with mixed drinks. Wears whatever GQ says to wear as fashion of the moment. Bought a Trucker cap 2 years ago. Has used a razor on other parts of his body besides his face. Will drink wine, as long as it is expensive. Fairly lazy about clothes, but has a nice enough selection that anything he wears looks fairly decent. Uses one bar of soap for his body & face. Would be the kind of guy to buy Ralph Lauren Paint. Likes expensive big dogs, like Ridgebacks, Burmese Mountain Dogs or Boxers.

Level 5: The confused Pretty Boy. He doesn't need to bring a girl with him to shop. Refuses to shop at Target or Wal-Mart. Works out at the gym 5 days a week to get killer abs and arms. Has a stylist. Coordinates clothing to what his date is wearing or the event he is attending. Shops at Barney's and Hugo Boss every other week. Will get a monthly pedicure. Snorts a lot of coke. Has three seperate soaps - one for body, one for face, one for crotch. He drinks mixed drinks, Red Bull and Vodka or imported wine. Will get his back & chest waxed. Occasionaly drinks imported beer that no one ever heard of. Gets designer cute dogs like Puggles, Pugs, French Bulldogs or Boston Terriers.

Level 6: The True Metrosexual. Gets his eyebrows threaded. Gets a manicure every other week. Is a slave to fashion and trends. Makes fun of girls (or guys!) who wear knock off designer clothes or bags. Watches Will & Grace. Has a variety of grooming products for his skin, costing hundreds of dollars. Got a $250 faux mowhawk "creation" from Bumble & Bumble. Goes to the gym to see his "friends". Drinks only champagne or mixed drinks with premium alcohol, never beer. Only goes to the hottest clubs, it doesn't matter gay or straight. Likes wearing tight shirts to show off his arms. Has a subscription to Details. Would get a dog like a Teacup Schnauzer or Italian Greyhound.

Beach Bum Tanning: Hoboken



You can always count on Hoboken to never run out of sushi restaurants, nail salons and real estate offices in the near future. Also on that list are tanning salons. With the yuppie residents working long hours under flourscent lights, the only tan they will get will be from the radiation coming off their computer monitors.

I will admit that i'm a "electric beach" advocate. I'm not going to sit here and try to sell people on tanning. Either you like it or you don't. I, myself, believe that if done in moderation and proper care that it isn't any more harmful than sitting outside in direct sunlight. Having my Italian / (black) Irish skin I tan easily, so for me using a tanning bed is a good way to start a base tan before the summer months. In years past, with all of my golfing I got a nice "farmers tan" which looked ridiculous. Instead of sitting on Pier A to fix this, i'd just bop down to a tanning salon to even the tanlines out.

I have been to a few places in town and found i'm basically satisfied with their service. Most of the employees I meet there are usually not very happy to be working there, and have the charm of a potted plant. Some places have a very industrial look to their business. Some are located below ground. Some are just too far away for me to really be interested in trekking to their location.

On my way home from Club H on Sinatra, Beach Bum Tanning opened their doors for the first time. It was only a few doors down. I stopped in to snap some pictures and look around the place.

Imagine my surprise when entering BBT I was greeted by four very enthusiastic employees. Being the proper salespeople they were quick to go over the different tan bed designs and Tanning Consultation Guide, along with being nice to show me around the place. Not only was I impressed with their good customer service, but the business itself is very charming and clean for a tanning salon.

They have different service levels, depending on the bed that you are interested in using. Each bed has a different design that will generate a certain level of UVA & UVB rays. Each are essential in tanning, and I will leave it to the sales people to try and explain the various differences. They also have spray-on tan machines, and from what I am told, they are using top of the line "California Tan Sunless" machine.

Here are the different tanning levels. For the members of Club H, you get 15% off every tanning session or packages:
Bronze, $9 per tan session, 5 tans $35, 10 tans $59...up to 50 tans for $199.
Silver, $12 per tan session, 5 tans $45, 10 tans $79 and up to 50 tans for $199.
Gold not available in Hoboken.
Platinum, $20 per tan session, 3 tans $49, 5 tans $75, 10 tans $129 and up to 50 tans $499.
Titanium, $25 per tan session, 3 tans $59, 5 tans $95, 10 tans $169 and up to 50 tans $599.
Diamond, $30 per tan session, 3 tans $69, 5 tans $109, 10 tans $199 and up to 50 tans $699.

Just a warning but the packages DO EXPIRE. 3 tans expire in 1 month. 5 tans expires in 3 months. 10 tans expires in 6 months. 20 tans or more expire in 1 year.

Each tanning level you can buy a beach pass, which gives 1 month unlimited tanning on that level's specific bed. For example, Diamond has the top of the line bed, the P-90. It has a mix of UVA at 90% and UVB at 10%, which, from what I was told, was ideal for getting that "perfect tan".

There are also Beach Passes available for each Tanning level. Basically you can get 30 days of consecutive tanning, for an annual fee. You need a 3 month minimum commitment and also pay a cancellation fee to stop the plan. It sounds harsh, but you actually save a good deal of money if you are someone who tans frequently.

Just another option in town for you to try. I know that I will probably try out that new P-90 soon. Here are some more pictures I snapped...





Farewell Smoky Bars!

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I'm very happy to see the smoking ban come into effect for New Jersey. I quit on October 13, 2003, and wrote about it here in an old entry..

Hoboken 411


New site in town, written by some friends of mine. Check out Hoboken411...


It reviews restaurants, businesses and the Hoboken scene. Crisp design and great pictures over there. Very interactive, you can comment too.

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This page is a archive of entries in the Hoboken category from April 2006.

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