Life: October 2005 Archives

Movie Night

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I was thinking about making a Movie night.

Just once a month, meeting at...you guessed it...Dipper's.

I thought it could be fun, and DIFFERENT. Something that Hoboken needs, something different to do.

Not sure when i'd do this. Maybe on a Tuesday night. Figured that i'd run it the same way as the Eagles club - for the next 2 hours, all the TVs will show the movie with sound. You certainly can talk all you like or just sit and watch the movie for free.

Popcorn would be provided, along with an alternative drink - Like in summers you could have frozen drinks. In winter time we could serve hot drinks (like a hot toddy or hot cocoa).

This all got me started when I asked someone if they saw the movie, "The Warriors". Now, growing up, and in college, I don't think there was anyone who didn't see this classic surreal movie about gangs in New York. I think after watching this movie - I really thought that is what New York was like. I was terrified of going there.

"Warriors! Come out to play! Warriors! Come out to play-ay-ay!"

One thing that I don't know is the legality of doing this. Can you show a movie in a bar (if we aren't charging people to watch it)? I have to look into this. Plus I also don't really know if people, in our digital age, are that motivated to go to a bar to watch a movie.

What would be the movies, besides midget porn, that you would want to watch? My top 5 movies that i'd like to show:

1. The Warriors: This isn't a good movie, it is a total B movie. But it still ranks as a movie that you gotta see. I love all the different gangs that are out to get The Warriors, and the movie is fast paced and fun. Pure soda pop on film.

2.

Sick

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This stinks. I'm sick.

Sleeping all day. Watching TV. Taking cold medicine. My head feels like it is in a vice.

Second day of missed work. I hate missing work. It isn't the work I miss, but I like the routine. Get in the office, check my email, surf the web, do a bit of work. Before you know it - it's noon, have a protein shake, along with a banana or granola bar. Grab a water, then back to the desk for more of the same. 3pm hits, order lunch. 5:30 hits, eat a Nitrotech protein bar and at 6pm head to the gym.

Very rarely do I actually get "sick". Maybe once a year. Most other sick days I take from work aren't the real ones. I just wake up and don't feel like going into the office. A mental health day or something.

When I busted up my leg, I was back in the office 4 days later after the surgery. I could have milked it for all its worth. I could have been out of the office for weeks, taking leave pay and claiming that I couldn't sit in a chair. That isn't me. I don't do that.

I was talking to a really cute the other day at the bar. She was a waitress at a chain-restaurant outside of Hoboken. She hurt her back on the job, and was on medical leave.

"But my back is fine now. I have a few more weeks that I can keep getting paid for doing nothing..."

In my eyes she immediately wasn't so cute anymore. I have a fairly good hangup about "character" in people. I think it stems from Mom & Dad who drilled into all of their kids about walking the straight and narrow. Honesty and integrity have been something that was taught to me.

The one day I decided to shoplift as a 7 year old, my mother took me back to the store, with the metal jet airplane that I swiped. She made me apologize and hand back the jet airplane to the owner. I don't think I ever shoplifted again.

Or the time that I was working as a waiter's assistant in Somers Point. My father would make me record all my tips, every night. It was for two reasons. One, I owed money on my Jeep Wrangler. My father paid for half and I paid for half, each year. Two, so that I could report them to the IRS in April.

After the cute girl left I turned to another bartender and expressed my same sentiments as above. I wondered if a person was willing to lie about their health, and take money for it - what other things in their life would they lie about to take advantage of situations. Wouldn't you be worried to date someone like that? I would.

Well, I have the day off from work. Just finished playing a new game "F.E.A.R", which was a first person shooter with a creepy plot similar to the movie The Ring. Today Civilization 4 comes out and i'm excited. I already reserved a copy from the GameSpot and the delivery should be at 1:30pm. Yes, I will be at the store by 2pm, i'm sure. It is the little things in life that I enjoy. Even while sick.

The Will

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I found out that a co-worker of mine died yesterday.

She was in her late 30's, and had been working at the company since 1988. She was an extremely likeable person, I don't think I ever saw her angry. Helpful and kind, she was the kind of person that you could always call for assistance in her department. She died due to complications during elective surgery at a New York City hospital.

When I had my leg surgery, I remember going into the hospital trying to keep a stiff upper lip. I was dropped off at the hospital by Matt, and kept my composure as best I could. In the waiting room I was fine, watching TV in a cotton gown, with the special sock slippers they give to keep your feet warm. They got me on the bed, and did some checks. I looked around and the room was like a conveyor belt of people getting prepped for surgery.

This wasn't like some TV show hospital. This was like being in a factory, people just getting ready on a conveyor belt. At that moment, I started to feel uneasy about this whole thing. As I looked around the room, I just didn't like how shabby the whole place was - with boxes piled up haphazardly, the thread-bare cotton sheets on the bed and the linoleum floors that look like they haven't been replaced since 1963.

I felt very alone.

They wheeled me into the operating room, and it was what I expected. The bright lights, the machines and then my gaze looked at what was on the tray next to me. Sharp pointy stainless steel instruments designed to slice my leg open.

This is where the enormity of the situation started to fall upon me. Up until this point the whole "leg operation" was a quasi-reality to me. It was something that I knew I had to do, there was no avoiding it, and with a stalwart determination I was going to keep that macho bravado the whole way.

That was the gameplan until I saw the sharp pointy stainless steel instruments, coupled with the beep-beep-beep heart monitor next to me. I realized that I may not wake up.

Thoughts raced through my dead. I never wrote a Will. What would happen when if I died? How will my friends I know from online games know I died? What will they do with my body? What kind of funeral would they have? What will they do with my money?

I didn't make any plans, I didn't tell anyone this. I felt a cold tear trickle down the side of my face, moments before the anesthesia took effect.

Story Of My Life

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High school seemed like such a blur,
I didn't have much interest in sports or school elections.
And in class I dreamed all day, 'bout a rock 'n' roll weekend.

And the girl in the front of the room,
So close yet so far y'know she never seemed to notice,
That this silly school-boy crush wasn't just pretend.

Life goes by so fast, you only want to do what you think is right.
Close your eyes and then it's past - story of my life.

The story of my life, when it comes to relationships, is a simple one - i'm Lloyd Dobler, Duckie and Farmer Ted rolled into one. I'm the guy that girls love to have as a friend, i'm the king of making friendgirls.

No, not girlfriends. Friendgirls. They want to be friends with me.

It happens one way or the other. Either I meet a fugly but fun girl that LOVES me and I really am not that interested in. Or, I meet the great girl and they always think i'm funny, smart, interesting, but don't want to date me. They either have a boyfriend (and yet, still want me as the friendboy), or they are single and are giving out no vibes other than "lets be pals".

What gets old fast is the sage like advice I get from my coupled friends. Telling me a trillion different ways that I should be meeting girls. Advising me how I should act, not act, say, not say. I have very nice girl friends and they all tell me the same, "I don't understand why you don't have a girlfriend..."

I'm sure there are the haters out there that can list their reasons. Furey is too egotistical. Furey is too arrogant. Furey thinks he is better than you. I try to explain to people how I think, and the way I act and it seems to fall on deaf ears. For example, I have some qualities of an introvert: I enjoy being alone, sometimes. This isn't to say I don't like the company of others, I love going out with people all the time. But I also enjoy my freedom and alone time. Many ex-girlfriends didn't understand this, and one said, "You should want to be around me all the time!". Maybe one day she will understand it wasn't 'Furey just isn't that into you' and it really is 'Furey just wants some time by himself'.

I don't date for fun. Some people had a knack for it. My pal in college, Brian T, he was just a dating machine. Great personality that I could never have, and with good looks to boot. He dated some average girls, some cute girls and in Hoboken met some great girls. Married one and has done the Hoboken Shuffle by moving into the 'burbs.

But that isn't me. I'm not that dating kind of guy. I don't date for fun. Sure, I like to meet women, make friends, and if there is an attraction - then i'd ask them out. I'm not the match.com kind of guy. I'm not the blind date kind of guy. I'm not the meat market kind of guy. I'm not the guy you will meet at Madison's on Martini night.

I'm the guy who likes long conversations about the finer points of lighting your pants on fire or bar etiquette. I can wax poetic about Personal Ad Mistakes for Women to telling everyone my loyal friend. I'm the one is fascinated with finding a good cheesesteak to the love I have for port wine. I'm just a person of such varied interests and deep conversation topics, that i'd like to just meet someone to share it with other than...a friend.

I find human psychology fascinating. I have read so many books about how to make people like you, how to make people fall in love with you, how to be a player, how to be a gentleman, and the works of Dr. Grey. I'm fascinated by astrology, but don't put much faith in it. But I do see certain qualities about the Aquarius that embody my soul. I learned and glean a bit more every year, and simply realize that we are all different people, with different wants and desires. You can't really categorize people, there is going to be someone out there for everyone.

What I do wrong, in my humble opinion, is that I don't put myself out there. I don't go to Madison's on a Tuesday or go out in the city to fun bars. I stay in Hoboken, really only go out at one or two local pubs and every once in a while get out to different bars. I just like my friends, and a fun Friday night, to me, is about sharing a beer with friends and shooting some darts rather than going to a loud club surrounded by chickenheaded guidos in Man Suits.

This isn't a cry for help. This isn't my way of feeling bad and expecting to get pats on the back from his friends. This is really about who I am - an observer of life. I could write funny stories or my Hoboken adventures, but just today I was talking to a friend about how she said I want a fantasy girl.

I asked her, ok, what do you think i'm looking for?

She said, via email, "Athletic, tall, over 26, good job, not needy, has own life, own friends, isn't looking to get married in 5 mins, close to family, sense of humor, like sports, can hang in a bar on sundays for the eagles....etc etc"

My reply to her was..."Ok, now of all those qualities you are not tall & don't like Eagles...so how is this a 'fantasy woman'? I think i'm being fairly reasonable in what i'm looking for. Plus, you have to remember that those aren't dealbreakers. If I met everything above and she was 5'4, I wouldn't just disregard her. Those are "wants" not "musts"."

It always seems that I fall into the same hole. I meet someone great, they don't like me other than being a friend and I have my crush on them. I don't want to drive them from my life, so I play the role of a friend, all the whole I quietly hope that they fall for me.

It never works. Always the same thing happens. We do everything that a boyfriend and girlfriend would do - but without intimacy of a relationship. I keep it going on the shred of hope that something will come out of it. That one day it will be out of a movie and she realizes that her knight in shining armor is the guy standing next to her.

That never happens. Normally i'm the guy who either watches her date wrong guy after wrong guy - while listening to her grieve and offering her my ear & advice. Or, she meets Mr. Excellent, and then dates Mr. Excellent and still keeps me as a friend, telling me about their excellent lives. This keeps up until they get married and then they disappear into obscurity.

Bitter, much?

Not really. It is just the way it is. I think that when people talk about meeting someone when they are single, the cynics say, "Oh, aren't you just desperate!".

I think desperation is when you settle for second best.

The Story Of My Life. Man, it gets old quick when I just keep meeting these great girls and they just want to be my friend.

The Manshake

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Here is another off-track observation, what's up with the "no hip hug"? I also call it the "Manshake" (variation of Handshake), where you guys do the soul brother hand clasp, pull towards each other and bump chests (perhaps a slap on the back at the end). I have nothing against the manshake, just saying this seems to be the new "i'm-not-gay-but-I-can-show-affection" method that guys say hello now.

The "Man Suit"

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There comes a time in history that we, as a people, need to band together and stop something. My grandparents generation had the Axis. My parents had Communism. Our generation has the "Man-Suit" clones.

What is the "Man Suit"? 100405.jpg
Well as you can see in the picture, it begins with a striped shirt button down, untucked. Add a pinch of dressy jeans (Diesel, Seven, Citizens of Humanity) and a dash of snappy shoes. Make sure you bust out the "Growing Up Gotti" hair gel to achieve that chickenhead look and...viola! You have the Man Suit.

Since we, in Hoboken, are the bastard half children of J. Crew and Abercrombie it only makes this look a trillion times worse. Go to Madison's, Trinity or Nine and you will see packs of men, dressed in the Man Suit, like a pack of hyenas.

Women. I implore you to stop your man from dressing this way. Guys, really, the look has hit its peak. It was once good to dress this way, and now it has come time to put the look down like a feral dog.

I liked striped shirts. I own a few. I like stylish jeans. I happen to own Diesel. I like dress shoes, when worn with certain pants. The three combined just make us all look like clones. Or clowns. A cloned clown.

I don't claim to be Mr. Fashion. My fashion mistakes are legendary. I could be the first snowboarder to hit Cervinia in a day-glo yellow / orange outfit in 1993. I also tried to pair fire with jeans during my insane years at Villanova. I learned from my brother's mistakes when he decided to join "The Revolution" in 1984 and get a perm. Well, that mistake was not hiding the polaroid picture of him better, this would be worth thousands in bribe money today.

But I do claim to be a very good observer. I notice trends, and know there is a big difference between a trend and trendy. The Man Suit isn't trendy, it's pathetic. My suggestions is to have everyone check out Thecobrasnake to get some ideas on how to bust out some individuality.

I know some of you are unconvinced, so here are some other male fashion fopahs over the years, and I think you will agree with me:

1. The Cowboy Shirt: It hit its peak with Urban Cowboy. This also includes any cowboy hats - unless you are riding a horse, leave the cowboy hat at home.
2. The Hawaiian Shirt: It hit its peak with Magnum PI.
3. The Flannel Shirt: It hit its peak with Singles.
4. The Bowling Shirt: It hit its peak with The Big Lebowski.
5. The Puffy Shirt: It didn't have a peak, but that Seinfeld episode was hilarious: "I don't wanna be a pirate!"

Please, join me in destroying this look. I don't know what the next look will be, maybe tuxedos will make a comeback. In about a year or two, you will all look back on those pictures of you doing Yagerbomb shots at City Bistro and say - "What was I thinking? I should have listened to Furey!"

Added bonus, these are a few looks that I see on women that irritate me, for some unknown reason:

1. Funky rain galoshes
2. Boho hippy peasant skirt
3. Super sized sun glasses
4. Silky/shiny nightgown teddy shirt

Edited to add:

Looks like The New York Times has deconstructed this trend also!

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This page is a archive of entries in the Life category from October 2005.

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