Top 5: December 2005 Archives

How To Fix Monday Night Football

| 4 Comments

I'm so tired of the television schedules nowadays for Monday Night Football.

The seers in the NFL offices try to predict what should be shown on Monday Night, months before the season starts. They put on teams that SHOULD be good, but with injuries and uncertainties with every team every year, you never know who will be worthy of watching Monday night.

Here are my Top 5 Ways we can fix Monday Night Football:

1. Don't schedule any Monday night games. Put in a full 16 week schedule of every team, to play every week on Sundays. No Monday night games are scheduled. Two weeks before, the NFL will choose 3 potentional matchups for Monday night, based on record of competing teams and interest. For example, during week 14 I would have chosen for Week 16, the following matchups:
a) NY Giants at Washington
b) Dallas at Carolina
c) Indianapolis at Seattle

All 3 games are with teams that are either in the playoffs, or in the hunt. You know that there is going to be excitement from not only fans of those teams, but even non-fans to watch two teams really battle it out. Of course, choosing the colts is tricky since you don't know if the starters are playing the whole game, but you know that the Colts aren't going to lie down and let the Seahawks beat them.

The NFL will just randomly select one of the 3 teams to play. If owners want their teams to be on a nationally televised game, they have even MORE incentive to spend money on making a good team & coaches.

By scheduling 2 weeks ahead of time that gives teams PLENTY of time to prepare. We are in 2005 (and soon to be 2006), folks. It's not like a team just can't wait ONE day longer to play football - they knew where they were playing, just the time was changed. As for the fans - we are in a digital age. Emails, websites and blogs will alert all the fans to what Monday Night game was chosen 2 weeks in advance, and give people more credit - if they know Monday Night ISN'T a set thing, they will be checking ESPN or their hometown teams website each week to see when their team is on.

2) I would sign Bob Costas to be one of the announcers on Monday Night. I don't know who to pair him with (NOT COLLINSWORTHLESS!!!), but if you watch the guy on HBO's Inside The NFL, he is a solid pick to call the games. Maybe get Al Michaels and Bob Costas at first, to see how they do together while grooming Costas to be the long term host and looking for a replacement for Michaels.

3) Screw the West Coast! Start the games at 8pm EST. I know that we tried it once in 1998 and the rating dipped in the West Coast, but they knew what they were getting into when they moved there. It's a tradeoff, they get the beatiful weather and we get football. Have them get a Tivo, and record the game. By the time they get home, they can watch the football game, skip the commericals and catch up to the rest of the world by the 4th quarter. No one on the East Coast likes to stay up until 12:30am watching a game, and the East Coast easily has more football fans than the rest of the country - cater to your audience, people!

4) I'm tired of watching sideline reporters who are hired by their looks and not their NFL knowledge. Starks? Guerrero? Yes, they are easy on the eyes, but I watch them fumble their ways through interviews like Michael Jackson during a cross-examination. Lets hire men or women who should be on the sideline, because of their brains, not their bodies.

5) Have a real halftime show. I don't understand why only the Super Bowl we get to see a musical act play. Why not just do the same thing for every week of the NFL? Have one band come on that plays 3 songs, and rocks the crowd. Trust me there are PLENTY of good bands that would this for FREE. Why? Because its MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL. Imagine the audience that you garner for some up-and-coming bands who are well known in New York City, but not so well known in Topeka, Kansas. Trust me, just have ESPN partner with MTV and this is a slam dunk for everyone.

What would you do to fix MNF?

Top 5 Winter Fashion Mistakes

| 5 Comments

I don't claim to be Mr. Fashion, but this is what I have observed this winter...

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1) Any man who wears earbands. Sorry, I just despise this look. It screams: "Emasculated Man".

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2) The long quilted goose down coat. I know that for girls they are cold all the time and need to wear warm clothes, but come on - this coat makes you look like you are wearing a sleeping bag. Any guy that wears this should have his testicles removed promptly.

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3) Any of the cavewoman boots. Uggs have been replaced by the furry neanderthal boot look. Me No Like!

4) The "Working Girl" look. I see attractive girls, wearing nice clothes and look down to see them wearing stockings, sneakers and white cotton socks over their stockings. Ugh. I know, I know - no one wants to walk around in high heels. It just screams "I'm a secretary!" Oh, i'm sorry, "...administrative assistant!".

5) No coats at all. I see the girls & guys walking down the street, shivering, and they don't have a coat & loudly complain how cold it is. These are the kind of asshats we get into Hoboken. They don't want to crimp their NJ Guido style - so they leave their coats in their leased BMW and walk 4 blocks to Lana or Trinity. They stand out in line, stamping their feet and they already are holding their money out to buy that first of many rounds of red Red Bull and vodka.

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This page is a archive of entries in the Top 5 category from December 2005.

Top 5: November 2005 is the previous archive.

Top 5: May 2006 is the next archive.

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